A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met this nice guy online last year. we have not met as of yet because of my blowing up. I guess I blow up because I am not understanding of what is going on. and when I blow up he does not know the reason why I did that. so we have had some bad times because of this. since I met him he has been doing field training for the army as well as going to another state for weekend training. but for awhile there he had stopped talking to me and then 3 months later he comes back trying to work things out. but I blew up again. but know I am doing much better. so we worked things out and he was supposed to come visit with me in july. but then he said after field training that they were leaving for Iraq in 3 weeks. but before all of this, when he was in FL. for weekend training. he did contact me to see if I could come there. but I thought it took 5 hours to get there. so because of the time and everything we did not meet. they were only allowed to be out 2 or 3 hours at a time. so because I Worked midnights that would not have worked out. so now he is Iraq and I have not heard from him. he say's that he is not ignoring me and that he does not play games. I plan to move to his state when I finish school next year. but that was my plan all along before I met him. they left for Iraq the 8th of August. so we are better now than we have been because I have learned to control my attitude. he has always had strange ways. I just think that he could have at least sent me a e mail. and I would not think a man would play games for a year and a half with some one he does not want to be with. I remember one time I made him mad and he told me he was going to get his e mail changed. he did get his e mail changed but he also made sure I had it also. so I am thinking. that if he puts up with my mess. then I would be wrong to leave him. what's your view's. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thank you for all that has posted their comments but like I said I think you some of you have missed the point here. he was not always oversea's. and I Just wrote to get some feed back. I know where him and I stand. I just wanted to see what everyone else thought. I see that it's true that I must stop getting answer from people just let nature run it's course. I will just believe what the Lord has shown me and stop worrying so much.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Hey, I am not in the military, not a military wife, don't even have close friends who are, but God bless the men and women in the military.
With respect, am I missing something here? I don't see this as an established or committed relationship between the two of you, so there is nothing to break up.
If you want to remain his friend and email him from time to time I think that's fine, but you seem delusional about who this man is, what this relationship is, have no idea hat his intentions are or his real feelings about you are.
He doesn't sound to me like he would want to be in a serious relationship with someone he communicates with over he Internet, but instead is just looking for some human connection with a girl who makes him feel better about himself as a man and who wants to support him emotionally. Nothing wrong with that, but to make this into something it is not is treading in dangerous territory. Your expectations are out of line with reality whether he is a military man and deployed has little to do with the fact that you are not in a love relationship with this man, period.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Well, being deployed and being in the military can really cut into the time and ability to communicate. He may still be transitioning to the right FOB, he might be pulling a lot of missions, he may even be on a FOB with little or no Internet, THAT actually happens. He may not want to deal with your outbursts and I can imagine them being rather stressful.
I have no idea what most civilian think the soldiers DO when they are deployed. IT IS NOT BAND CAMP, OK?
I think while he is gone, that it would be a GREAT idea for you to take some Anger Management classes. You seem to have little control over your temper and to have little trust in your guy. I don't think that lack of trust is strange though, with the sporatic contact you two seem to have.
If you don't feel he is the right guy for you, then DON'T stay with him. Honestly NOTHING in your post shows how you feel about him.
You barely know this guy. The REAL guy, not the guy you talk/text/IM but the real flash & blood guy. If you want to date him, you need to spend time with him. ( I know that is hard when he is deployed).
I think staying with a guy, because he "puts up" with you is a really bad reason.
And yes, I'm another military wife here. Been doing this "thing" for almost 12 years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI. well he was in training but at home and not overseas. well my computer broke down and I wanted him to call me so that I will feel better and since he did not I just wondered what was going on. so I went back to the site to where we met and I saw that he had been back there 4 weeks or so. so I blew up I did not know what was going on. and one thing led to another. but when he came back after being away from me for 3 months I blew up again. but I have gotten better. because I know he is a good man even through I ask questions. but seems to me he has been gone for 2 months seems like he would have said hello or something. I pray for him and don't nag him. I am learning how to be a better person. so thank you very much for your response. and in times like this I need some one to talk to and I know you can relate. I can handle most things. so but I am not going to let people walk over me. thank you again.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 So why were you blowing up at him? He's in the military, you have got to understand he doesn't always have the time to talk to you, or is too drained and can't control where the military sends him next. If you date him you're dating the military too. Not everyone can handle they're boyfriend or husband going all over the U.S. for training and especially deployments hence all the cheating going on. He's in Iraq potentially getting blown or finishing up loose ends. When you're over there, sometimes you can't get on a phone or a computer for 16 days. There's no playing games here just a man with a busy military life. It's not good that you're blowing up on someone you haven't met yet and really don't know. Sorry but you're not cut out to be a military girlfriend because you can't handle his hectic life or a LDR.
Note: I'm a military wife so I do know.
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