A
female
age
36-40,
***__***
writes:I started dating my best friend a while ago. It was suppose to be a rebound sort of thing, the two of us helping each other move on from a bad breakup from our past relationship but down the road, we fell for each other. I pretty much fell in love with him and he did the same, but then he found out he had to move, only an hour away, but it wouldn't be the same and we both knew it. but we tried it anyways. i brought my best friend with me on a trip to go see him, it was a 3 day trip. everything was perfect until last night, we were talking on messenger and he told me he thinks we should break up, i mean this came out of no where. we've been fine and happy, but he said to save any future pain, and that i deserve better than him. I don't know what to do, I want to remain close friends but knowing I can't kiss him and hold him hurts so much, I want to talk to him but I don't know how to discuss and something like this.any idea as to what to do? :/
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 July 2010):
 I think xanthic is onto something... He probably feels that you deserve better because he feels guilty about something. It may not be finding someone else though, it may be realizing that he was happier as just your friend, or that the distance is too much for him, or many other things. It does seem like a cop out thing. Your best bet is to have a face to face discussion and lay your cards on the table. As best friends, you owe that much to eachother.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (14 July 2010):
 The reality is that he's probably found someone else, or wants to. I know it's hard to hear, and he has no right to go about ending the relationship this way, but in the end you'll be better off without him.
He wanted to break up with you online, for god's sake. Anyone that does that is an absolute coward and wants the easy way out, so yes, you do deserve better!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Call me cynical, call me jaded- ...but when they start with the "you deserve better than me "....that usually means they think THEY deserve better than you, and they have found that already or have started searching. Come on, nobody is so generous to let a woman they like go so she can find someone better !! Chances are, he thought it will be simpler and more convenient to date someone local.
Be strong and do not beg for long talks which will not lead to anything. Let your mantra be "His loss,not mine " and move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): if you break up with him youre still going to feel for him if he remains your friend. Its best if you stay gf and bf or nothing. you have to forget him somehow, i know it hurts but thats just the way it is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): It sounds like his mind is already made up about what he wants to do: break up. He gave you the excuse that you "deserve better" than him. He's right! You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, and doesn't make up generic excuses for why you should break up.If you want to stay friends, your best bet is to not talk for a while until you're not so angry or sad. Then, you guys can maybe build your friendship back up. It's perfectly OK if you never get back to where you were before you started dating. That's just sort of a risk you run when you date good friends.Keep your chin up. Good things come to those who wait.
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