A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for three years and we always had such an amazing sex life, he gave me a lot of confidence and I'm really sad that he is knocking it all back out of me.For the majority of our relationship he has loved going down on me, it's something that he likes more than anything else and I did wonder if he was a little obsessed. He likes to do it for an over an hour at a time, sounds a bit over the top, but it was so good having a man want to do that to me.Last 3 months or so he has just stopped. I would never force a person to do anything they don't want to do but knowing that he was so into doing it has made me wonder what's wrong with me.We were messing around on the weekend and he finally went to do it again but 2 minutes in he heard something on the tv and stopped to watch it. I got really offended by this and told him it made me feel like he's no longer interested in me sexually.He's angry with me for making a big issue out of it, he doesn't get why it would offend me and he thinks I should chill out. I always do things to him too, I'm not selfish and just allow him to do everything.I have asked him if there is anything wrong with me down there and he said there isn't. I make sure I'm clean and groom myself, I honestly can't smell anything. I don't have an STD.He just can not get his head around why I'm so offended by it. He used to make feel so good about myself, I have become really confident since being with him but now I feel like he's just trying to undo all of that.How can I make him see that it made me feel bad?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 March 2016):
 I am not sure what has made him stop doing this, if he has done this for three years well am sure its not a case that he has got lazy all off a sudden. Could he be stressed about anything? Maybe his libido has just lowered at the moment.
Off course you are going to get offended if he gets distracted by a television. Most women would when they are being intimate with their partner. You really need to talk to him about this. Just be blunt and ask him why the change over the last three months? Ask him to be honest with you, it could be a number of reasons. Maybe it is something he is embarrassed to talk about. Just be straight with him, it is the only way you can both work this out.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 March 2016):
 The only way you can achieve this is by getting him to talk honestly about what is going on. Don't let him be evasive. Pick your moment and try to get an honest answer. Then you both can fix things.
My only thought is if things have become repetitive. I hope you can sort everything out soon.
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A
male
reader, Sam Wilson  +, writes (10 March 2016):
 Sorry for being blunt but tell him the truth.Hes not just there to be with you sexually, he's also an emotional partner. Tell him honestly what's going on with you.I get it that it was nice that he made you feel sexy and now that he is not making love to you anymore you feel its gone.As a guy i've recently got into a similar problem about intercourse with my girlfriend when I offended her appearance. And did you now what fixed it? pouring my heart out, you are a couple honesty and understanding is a must if you mean to be together.But ouch rejecting sex for television is really hurtful in my opinion but sometimes sex really does go away in a relationship its when you postpone the physical connection and start with the emotional connection. The honeymoon phase is over now the real relationship begins.PS: if you really want sex that bad surprise him. Moodlighting , music , clothes or roleplay can win back your sex life. Trust me there's something about girls in costume thats hard to resist.
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