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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend have been together a few months, and recently I have found out he has large insecurities about me and my friends. He thinks I like them more than I like him. I have told him he is the only one I care about, butI don't want to ditch all of my friends as I have known them for a long time. I love my boyfriend but am too afraid to tell him as it may scare him away. My friends do not mean as much to me as he does. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2005): You should never dump your friends. Put it from this point of view: you dump your friends and in a couple of months' time, he dumps you or you dump him. What will you do then? You'll have no mates. Like my mum always said, "Friends are for life. Boys are for a short period of time".
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (23 May 2005):
Do not ditch the friends. Include the boyfriend in your group activities when ever possible. If you love him, say so!!! Make time for only him ( evening at home: fishing movies, etc. but gently and firmly make sure that he knows that there are other aspects to your life( work, family, friends, etc. )just like there are in his ( or there should be).It is workable but insecurities are hard to overcome and require work. We all have them so you must try to be understanding without being a doormat.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2005): ok well you need to sit him down and you and him need to talk about his and every thing that might make each other insecure about the relationship! communication is the key!!!! if he knows for sure that you don't like your friends more than you also need to talk to your friends htey should know that you need to spend time now that you have a boyfriend but don't completely ditch them though!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2005): Dont dump your friends. He obviously doesnt see how important they really are to you. Its important in a relationship to have your lover know that you always need time for friends. If you and your lover are constantly together, things could fall apart. Talk to him and tell him how much you need your friends. Make sure he knows hes the most important to you, but you cant block out the rest of the world and have it revolve only around him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2005): What is a life without friends? I think your boyfriend should trust you enough to know that you only have feelings for him.
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