A
female
age
36-40,
*inicky One
writes:My bf and I had a nice and comfortable talk about our problems. The whole time I listened to him; the more I had a big question in mind. I noticed that he NEVER said he did ANYTHING wrong in this relationship and, so, everything that happened was ALL my fault; I'm the reason why we argue and disagree so much. ;( I did not cry or anything when he said all this, however. I asked the big question "Do you think you're perfect," I said in a calm voice. That hit a nerve so deep that he went ballistic! He was yelling at me and saying things like "What kind of question is that? You don't ask Questions like that" then went on to say "I'm not about to talk about myself so you can put me down." How come he got this mad over that one question, but dismiss the fact that he hurt me by saying everything is my fault and that he does nothing wrong? Why would he get mad like that? : / Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Finicky One +, writes (11 July 2011):
Finicky One is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes, you're right about my word choice; it was a bit bold. I told him that I might be using the wrong word but it was too late. He told me that he knows he's not perfect but he tries to be. I dnt want him to be; I jux want him to admit, tO himself, that he Does things wrong, too. I wasn't going to gloat or make him feel worse; I just wanted to see what he thinks of himself and why he feels that he is doing everything right. No, I do not believe I could deal with this that long but we still have growing up to do. I just wish he would admit his wrongs. ;(
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): It makes me uncomfortable that your boyfriend blames every issue on you. This inability to take responsibility is indicative of immaturity and sometimes even a failure to be honest. It could also be that it makes him feel better to think he's never in the wrong.
Although your word choice was a little sassy, I don't think he should have blown up at you over it. This situation, however, is a great example of what you could expect to see and endure in your relationship in the future. Is this something you want to deal with?
If not, the problems you've discussed might be dealbreakers for this relationship.
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