A
female
age
30-35,
*weet.Monster
writes: Heya :)So basically, I want to know if I'm in the wrong with my boyfriend.We're both 16 and have been together 10months. Things are good between us. I don't really have any girly friends to hang around with because I can't stand the bitching - I just have one online friend and I have spoken to her for 4 years. Me and my boyfriend play xbox together and I am friends with his two best mates. Anyway one of his friend's sisters had a 21st Birthday yesterday and we all went to it. My boyfriend got drunk and completely ignored me for about an hour and didn't even glance my way. I started getting pissed off and upset about it and our friends older brother took my boyfriend out for a walk and told him to treat me right or he'll know about it. So when I went and found him he complained about me making a big fuss over it and it was ME who had to aplogise for it. So then he was with me fine for the rest of the night until his two friends started being sick and those three were staying over at our friends(the one with the older brother). So he text me when he got there to say theyre in but still being sick. This morning he was being all nice to me like 'Good Morning Gorgeous' blabla. Saying he's staying over AGAIN tonight when he should have been seeing me. So I was like okay :) not making a big deal out of it. He was watching a movie and texting me every now and then and I said 'Its nice youre being all lovey dovey for once' because hes normally not. He asked was he not normally all nice to me and I said well honestly, no you arent. He took offense to this and didnt reply so I just put 'You okay?' and he was like yeah im watching a movie i told you and then didnt reply for 2 hours. I said to him it upsets me when he changes so suddenly like this and then literally just now he sent me a text saying to give him space, he's just chilling with his mates.I don't expect him to sit texting me all the time because I have things to do aswell and I don't expect him to be all 'lovey dovey' all the time either. He KNOWS this. So should I just let it drop and text him tonight and pretend this silly argument never happened? I just have a feeling he won't let it drop and be abit annoyed with me and if this is the case what should I do?THANKS :)!
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female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (10 July 2011):
i would let him have some time alone with his mates to breathe as for that text you sent him it did sound like you were being sarcastic with him when you worded it "lovey dovey" i would text him tell him your sorry as it did sound like you were to blame for this argument
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (10 July 2011):
You were rude to him in the text. You called him being nice "lovey dovey", which is offensive. You also added "for once" which implies he usually isn't, and it also implies you aren't appreciating it. It just makes it sound like you want to be angry with him and start an argument. So no wonder he took offense, you treated him being nice with rudeness in return. Naturally he stops trying to be nice then. You then continue to want texts from him, while he just sees this as you wanting to continue arguing over whats basically nothing (he was just trying to be nice to you, there's no need to get angry about it. Even if you weren't angry it sounded like you were).
As for the other night when he was drunk... when people get drunk they can get stupid. Just don't drink with him again, or tell him you don't want him to drink that much when he's with you because he ignores you when he's drunk and it isn't nice to you.
Basically what you do now is give him a few hours to breathe, then call him tomorrow or later in the evening and straighten things out. Deal with this one way or the other, rather than ignoring it. Sometimes they sort themselves out, other times you need to be quit to say "hey, I didn't mean that in a bad way and I understand you took offense. Reading over what I wrote/thinking about what I said made me see how it could sound bad, but I didn't mean it that way. Im sorry."
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