A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well here's my crazy story......when I met my husband we had a great relationship he was totally honest with me or atleast I thought he was being honest with me he told ne he had a son and that him and his sons mother had a mutual understanding that was strictly the boys parents nothing else. In 2008 we got married and 2 months after we got married he left me to be with her. A month later he came back to me and then 4 months later he left again and we were like that for a whole year and then he moved in with his mother and convinced me to move in with him and his mother I told him I needed time to save up money and told him to give me a month next thing I know his sons mother is living with him once again. She ends up being pregnant and I tell him Its over. About 3 months ago she calls me n admits that she was using their son against him that she wud tell him that he would never see him if he wasn't with her. She told me that she acknowledged that he loved me and that she knew that he didn't want to be with her and that she wasn't going to hold the kids against that. She would not hold them against him and that she wanted him to be with me cuz she knew I was the one he loved. Now that the new baby is born she has started again saying that he has to be with her if he wants to see his kids. He tells me that he doesn't know what to do because he wants his kids and also wants me. What do I do? I can't be a second string I love him but is all this worth it.
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female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (17 January 2011):
good for you for leaving him and regaining self respect.
Realize that despite all his calls and texts, whatever he may say, words are just words. In the end it is actions that matter.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Thanks guys I ended it with him and now he is short handed he calls but I dont answer he texts me as well and he gets nothing in return .......we'll see what happens. Life goes on
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 *sigh*
I think that's a load of crap personally. You honestly think that he kept going back to her JUST because of the kids? Balderdash.
I agree with sageoldguy, but if you really want to be with him then he can just take her to court for joint custody.
He has NO excuse to keep going back to her and if he does it again then I suggest high tailing it, but preferably right now.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (13 January 2011):
Why didn't you divorce him when he left you to go back to his ex wife?? Especially when he did that TWICE?If he doesn't grow a spine and take her to court to work out visitation or joint custody agreements, and instead he's OK with "being with" her in order to see his kids, then you two really shouldn't be married because he's cheating on you blatantly and you're accepting it.There's a reason that custody arrangements are legal proceedings handled by courts - so that stuff like this doesn't have to happen!!!!Either he is extremely weak and doesn't realize this - in which case you should educate him on it if he really was an unwilling participant in his infidelity and being coerced and manipulated into "having" to have a relationship with his ex. Or else he wasn't actually being all that badly manipulated he actually isn't truly "finished" with his relationship with his ex yet. After all, he got her pregnant. that doesn't seem to be something he could have been coerced into.If he is unwilling to see his kids via court-arranged visitation and custody arrangements and breaking it off completely with his ex, then you should divorce him. because he's actually involved in two relationships right now - you and his ex. Custody arrangements exist precisely so that having a relationship with your kids does not necessitate a relationship with their other biological parent.
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 I've been inthe same situation myself, but we were not married: just the baby momma drama(if they cant be together,he wont see his son!) i couldnt sleep with someone whose sleeping with someone else,knowingly. I ended things with him when i found out.Sometimes love is not enough. Divorce him.it looks like you will always come second best.hes a two faced hypocrite.since the kids wil always be there,hel always be there:not with you.move on with your life.fabolous, interested and willing men are still available.goodluck
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