A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im 20 years old and pregnant. ive been with my boyfriend for going on 3 yrs...in the beginning, the relationship was really good, dont get me wrong it still is...but things have changed......he's really insulting when he talks about my mom, and my cousin.....when directing his comments toward my mom he tells me that shes a bad mom, and that shes selfish...honestly to me, shes the best mom in the world...she has done everything possible to get me through my past problems, and she has bent over back wards for my boyfriend numerous times.....and my cousin, has even told him how much she respects him and likes him....but again nothing he says about either of them are nice....he knows it hurts me when he says the things he says...but he only gets mad and tells me to grow up when i cry...we broke up for a little while before i found out i was pregnant, so i went to my cousins house for a couple weeks, to keep my mood from crashing, and just because i was with her, he automatically told me to get a dna test because the baby ''aint his'' ive never cheated on him...i know deep down inside he knows that ive been faithful....but he still accuses me of those things....he keeps telling me that now because im pregnant hes 'stuck' with me and that he regrets ever meeting me and that he would rather be alone the rest of his life than to be with me..but at the same time hes always telling me that he loves and that im the best thing that ever happen to him.....so im getting mixxed signals....i dont know what to do.....i really dont want to raise our son alone...my baby has done nothing to deserve any of this.........got any advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to thank everyone for your thoughts, i guess its just up to me to grow the guts to do something about it, and you guys are right, my son does not need to grow up around the abuse...so thank you soo much and i will keep yall updated :)
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female
reader, justice09 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 i was in almost the same situation. the only difference is..i'm only 18. i just now delivered my baby. my boyfriend was always so hurtful to me. i't a lot worse when you are pregnant because your hormones are so out of wack. my boyfriend use to say disrespectful things about my mother. i talked to him about that. i love my mom. she's been there for me. and now he understands and he's not saying things anymore. but..we still fight a lot. when i was pregnant he said things to me like..i'm stuck with you..if you weren't pregnant..we wouldn't be together. we ended up staying together but not living together. my son is now 1 month old..and we started staying together. we have been fighting still. i use to hit myself and pull my hair out and have panic and anxiety attacks. now, it's got to the point where instead of hitting myself, i black out and hit him. the best advice i could give you is to talk to him. if it is upsetting you a lot, maybe you should see a doctor about it. that's what i'm doing. sometimes you just have to put your foot down and let him know he's lucky to have YOU.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): As far as your bf trying to turn you against your mother and cousin, that is a sign of a controller. He wants you to turn away from your family and friends and make you think he is the only one that you have.
With you being pregnant, you do not need to let him get you emtionally upset. I stayed in a panic/depressing crying stage w/ my first pregnancy, and my child has mod. to sev. hearing loss, her tear duct is not developed in one, and one or two other abnorm.. DON'T LET HIM UPSET YOU TO WEAR IT AFFECTS YOUR BABY, AS I DID!
Another thing you need to know, is that all men really are like this. SSDG! (same sh*t, diff. guy)......lmao!
I know it is hard, but act like you don't care. When he says things about your fam. agree w/ him, even if you disagree and he will stop.
You have something he wants, (his child), I'm sure he prob. needs you, more than you need him anyway. If he can't learn to love you right, and stop hatin' on your fam., you don't need him. And you won't want your kid around any of his drama anyway.
There are plenty of single mother's out there, including myself, and you may think it seems like the end of the world now, but it's not. If he really loves you, nothing will tear you apart. Just act like he is not God's gift to you, (your baby is your gift from God, not him), and everything should work out in your favor!
Good luck! And Congrats on your baby! Hope I helped somewhat!
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female
reader, SJ_ninety +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Sounds like this guy has a lot of growing up to do. He's controlling, manipulative, abusive and to be quite honest, I'd say YOU are the one stuck with HIM considering the baby. But seriously though, there really are mature and highly respectful men out there who would give anything to care for you and your son. Don't stay with an asshole like that just because your pregnant with his child. Get out while you still can!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): This can only get worse from here. As i write this i am in tears muself andam dealing with the same crap, its like they want you to be at there mercy, like you are just a big mistake in this world and we should be thankful that this good for nothing person is in our life. Dont stay with him just for the baby , i have 2 kids and trust me it is not worth it, everything that he is telling you , he is going to tell your son, just to make you look bad abd feel even worse about yourself, they have this complex like she will never leave, she puts up with this all the time. Dont stand for this crap you are so much more better then that, and save the words of abuse from your son. He will appriciate it one day. Trust me
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): He needs to grow up! You guys have a baby on the way and shouldn't be dealing wiht this petty crap. If I were you I would tell him that if this continues that you are going to leave. Think about when your baby comes, do you want him in an environment where his mother is treated like that? You deserve better, your son deserves better.
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