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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Me and this guy friend arranged to meet up this weekend; his idea actually. We do have a bit of a history. We've never dated but we did have a bit of casual "fun" when we were both single. I ended up developing feelings for him but I think that was just because he was my first. Like I said, that was a while ago and he's gotten back with some ex girlfriend since then and he's still with her now.I've just started dating somebody too and I'm happy. He said he was happy for me too but I wonder if he really is. He's been through a lot recently, he just got back from Afghanistan a few days ago so I'm guessing he's busy but he arranged to see me this weekend and I haven't heard anything. He said he was really looking forward to it and I'm pretty disappointed.We met up last month when he was on leave and it was really nice to see him but he was a bit overly friendly with me and tried to kiss me at one point. We've kept in touch the whole time he was away and I was really looking forward to seeing him this weekend. I changed my relationship status on Facebook the day before he came home from Afghan. He said he was happy for me and was looking forward to seeing me so i'm just confused as to why I haven't heard anything. He also seemed surprised that I'd made my relationship with the guy I'm with official. He's been on Facebook for the past 3 days so he could have at least said he'd had a change of plans but he hasn't spoken to me at all. We're strictly friends now so i would appreciate no nasty comments.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh and to the idiot who called me a "hoochie", i'm not such thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@WordlyWise. Don't worry i've deleted his number.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): I just feel sorry for your boyfriend and his girlfriend.
Your emotionally attached to this man and he's after NSA sex.
It's clear by your numerous posts that he's constantly on your mind.
Has he given a reason for not showing up - if he was a real friend he would have text to let you know he wasn't coming,but he didn't.......and his phone clearly works
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): Look, you are nothing more than a booty call to him. He's not standing you up on dates, he's standing you up on meeting up for sex. This guy is not your friend and your relationship status doesn't concern him in the least! As long as you are available to put out when you recieve his texts to meet up, you could be married for all he cares. That you are still willing to meet up with him when you supposedly are in an "official relationship" just confirms to him your hoochie status. This guy will never upgrade you to a girlfriend, ever!!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 he's testing the waters...
if you say yes what do you expect to happen?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe text me this afternoon apologising and asked if i wanted to see him. I haven't replied yet.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2012):
"why is he trying it on with me"
because he can. plain and simple
women need a reason to have sex
men need a place....
everything everyone else said applies too.
it hurts you to think all you were to him was a piece of ass but truthfully that's all you were to him...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 Why, don't tell me you are surprised that a guy would consider cheating ? That's not strange, it may be wrong, but it's not strange at all.
Some guys ( and women too of course ) have no problem in having a steady partner AND a little something on the side - particularly if the bit on the side costs them little or no money, time or effort.
The reasons are countless and they may fill way more than a DC post, but, basically, they should not matter to you.
If you don't want to be his bit on the side, then just make sure you won't become that , end of the story.
The whys and hows he would possibly cheat on his gf,.. leave them to his shrink, and his gf.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (27 February 2012):
Why, don't tell me you are surprised that a guy would consider cheating ? That's not strange, it may be wrong, but it's not strange at all.
Some guys ( and women too of course ) have no problem in having a steady partner AND a little something on the side - particularly if the bit on the side costs them little or no money, time or effort.
The reasons are countless and they may fill way more than a DC post, but, basically, they should not matter to you.
If you don't want to be his bit on the side, then just make sure you won't become that , end of the story.
The whys and hows he would possibly cheat on his gf,.. leave them to his shrink, and his gf.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, i guess. He was with his girlfriend when he tried to kiss me though so if he's getting what he wants from her why's he trying it on with me?
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (26 February 2012):
 You have a boyfriend. He has a girlfriend. He tried to get you to sleep with him the last time you two spent time together, you rejected him.
He doesn't need to hang out with you anymore, because he's getting the sex he wants from his partner.
I think that's pretty self-explanatory. I think right now, you already knew why, you just needed to hear someone else spit the truth.
Here it is. He's not really your friend. Not platonic, not really. You two may get along great, but he's not looking for platonic friends, he's looking for sex. It's common, just move on with your boyfriend and be happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, i guess so :(
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 February 2012):
Oh no, it's very easy in fact, it takes no time and it's the least he could do.
The fact that he's not doing it, therefore , should show you that he's not such a good "friend " after all...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only spoke to him 3 days ago and he said he was looking forward to seeing me then. It was all his idea so it's not like i arranged it. I just think i deserve a "sorry, i'm busy" or something. I mean, it's not hard is it?
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (26 February 2012):
The situation comments itself .
He has a gf.
He stood you up ,no explanations.
He did not bother to apologize or at least come up with some excuse.Just silence.
So.. maybe you aren't really as friends as you think, because a real friend would never act like that. Or, at least, this friendship means more to you than to him.
Apparently, he's just not that interested in a platonic friendship and does not see the need to invest time ( and a minimum of good manners ) to keep it alive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): Maybe he just didn't see the point, if you have a boyfriend,he probably thought he would step back as its official and he's seen it on FB now.It could be he was actually hoping for sex and knows its not going to happen.
If he's only just got home then I would imagine his priority was his girlfriend and family.The thought of seeing you probably brightened his days when away, but back home to reality - well you were just friends so ...I wouldn't worry about him, just leave it and carry on with your life.
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