A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy on a chat site about a month ago, he is 22 I'm 40. Straight away we realized we worked for the same company in the same building. So we started emailing each other on and off every day. We became friends on Facebook and exchanged mobile numbers and he would text me all the time. We decided to meet up for drinks, I went to his house and watched a couple of movies and we ended up sleeping together. We continued to text and email constantly (him always initiating the text and emails). He told me he found me extremely attractive. A few days later we decided to meet up again this time he came to my house, we spent the night together and went to work together the next day. He said that after we'd been together the second time I would have a lot of trouble keeping him away, which I didn't mind as I really like him and we seem to have a lot in common. The following week I had my children so we only communicated at work and with the occasional text after hours. My next free week we met up again he stayed at my house and we went to work together the next day. Then we were both out on the Friday night and ended up meeting up and spending the night and most of the next day together. Text and email communication seems to have slowed down we go on the occasional break together at work. Now this week I'm free (no children) again. On Monday I asked if he wanted to meet up and he said he was busy, then texted me to say he'd changed his mind and we could meet for a couple of hours. We did. I then asked him if he wanted to meet up again and he said he was tired so would pass that night. I went out and was telling him about it the next day at work and he mentioned he had been thinking of going out that night but instead was up late playing online games. We are still communicating almost every day. He always comes by my desk and we go on breaks together. Today he even came to my desk to tell me something he could have quite easily emailed to say. I'm just confused as he still seems interested in talking etc but seems to have backed off with the getting together? I'm not going to ask him again and just see what he does. When we've been talking he did also indicate doing stuff together on days off etc. Now none of that is mentioned. Any ideas as to what's going on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the other day I got a text from him asking if everything was ok. I replied with "all good, whys that?" and he said it was because I hadn't been in contact as much lately. I just said I was thinking the same thing. He then came back with " we'll have to catch up again soon then"
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Hi,
From what I can see, he obviously fancies you, and enjoys sleeping together etc. He would not want to let things deepen too much so just keeps things from going further. Possibly because at 22 he may not be ready to settle into something more. However, if you are happy with things as they are then that's fine. But it doesn't seem like anything long term here.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 I agree with what worldlywise has said...
he had his fun and he's savvy enough to not end it badly but he's not interested in a relationship with you... it was just fun and games for him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): I totally agree with wordlywise. He wanted one thing, he got what he wanted, and now he is shifting things toward friendship to keep it from getting awkward. He will probably be up for booty calls in the future and you'll likely get requests to meet up at those times, but I imagine it'll be pretty sporadic.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): Maybe he is backing off from getting into a full blown relationship. He obviously likes you but due to the age difference you are at different stages of your life. Let's be honest - he is 22 - I should imagine he loves having this 'thing' with you but doesn't want you two to become an item. Seems to me that is what's going on here. You are both free so there's nothing wrong in this liaison, but enjoy it for what it is and don't expect it to develop much further.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): He's had his fun, sex, now he has moved you to friend zone.
As you are colleagues he is trying to keep it amicable so neither of you is uncomfortable at work.
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