A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'll try to keep this short. A few months ago I met a guy. Things seemed to be going well between us but all of a sudden they just seemed to stop (his decision not mine) Thing is he seems to have had second thoughts now and wants to see me in a few weeks. We're going to meet on the night I have to stay in his city for a job interview and he's going to come to my hotel room. I think that inevitable means sex which was going to be fine until tonight when we were talking about this woman we both know who is a total cow and he said "I bet she's a virgin" in a really sneery way. The thing is that I'm a virgin too and it hasn't been the right time to bring it up so when he said this I was about to ask what was so wrong with that when a friend of his arrived and he had to hang up. The thing is that now I don't know how to play it. As far as he's concerned there's no issue between us and maybe he's right but I don't feel like I can tell him that I'm a virgin now but I also don't think it's a good enough reason to keep us from being together. I'd appreciate any opinions you can offer. Thanks in advance!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): tell him every man is a happy man to break sum1s verginity and it feels good cos the guy wont wury if he is doing it ryt or not or if he is good or shit cos ur vergin.
A
female
reader, Farris +, writes (6 March 2007):
 I agree with everything AskEve & Irish49 have said.
Don't sleep with him! He just sounds arrogant and self-important... Completely not the sort of person that you'd want to sleep with; let alone lose your virginity to.
If I were you, I'd save it for someone who matters.
Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Let's recap. You met a guy, you dated him, things are going well and suddenly he stops dating you. Now..he has called you because he is having 2nd thoughts and wants to see you in a hotel room in a couple weeks where you think the two of you may have sex. You were fine about the sex until he mentions in a sneery way, that some woman he plainly doesn't like 'is likely still a virgin'. It sounds like he was making a smartass remark about her, in the sense that no guy would want to bed her, in the first place. He sounds very immature and feels entitled, doesn't he? So now...from his behaviors, you are wondering if you should tell him you are a virgin? No, it's none of his business because I am really interested in why he suddenly stopped seeing you, in the first place? Was it because he wasn't getting you to first base? or did he grow bored, complacent with this dating relationship? Was there an gf/wife that he had to dump before coming back to you? (If so, he shouldn't have been dating you in the 1st place anyways.) Why have you chosen to so readily accept his behavior of giving you this big 2nd chance, without wondering why he's doing this? Haven't you asked why he's doing this? What happened? If I were you, I'd hold off on the sex when you meet up with him. Because he sounds like a very unreliable type of fellow, who maybe has a problem getting close and is after just one thing...sex! And you know what having sex with guys like this, will not make a huge difference to them. You may be just giving him what he wanted all along. This guy obviously has a problem getting close and staying close. I don't feel good about this...my instincts are on full alert and yours should be as well. I really feel that this guy is a poor dating choice for you. Don't have sex with him or you may end up regretting it. Save your virginity for someone who truly, truly loves and cares about you. And you know what, I could be dead wrong. But I just feel any guy who wants to date a lovely woman like yourself doesn't just bail out and then make a sudden comeback, claiming to give her a 2nd chance. Sheesh! A guy who is totally into you, would be making his presence known to you every day by actively contacting her, putting in hard efforts to building a good, solid relationship with her. Don't be so grateful he's doing this. Ask him "why" before you jump in the sack with him...you had better get some clear answers, because right now you are thinking of doing something that you may regret down the road. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (5 March 2007):
 I'll tell you exactly how to play it. Enjoy his company but DON'T sleep with him! If you do you'll regret it. Remember, you haven't been with him for a while so build up that friendship again. If you invite him to your hotel room and sleep with him he's only going to "take" what he can get then shoot! You'll be left feeling easy meat and used. Have some respect for yourself! Meet him in the hotel lounge and have a few drinks together. If he asks to go to your room be firm and assertive and say NO to him, it is NOT a good idea and stick with that.
Remember if you do sleep with him, you're only putting a nail in your own coffin. Just be warned.
Eve
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