A
female
age
51-59,
*ady CAB
writes:what am I suppose to do with my husband? He is so caught up in his religion. He think that whatever he say about the bible is correct and my knowledge is wrong. Well, I do know something about the bible and I do know how to read and understand things. I am not a slow leak. But then here the house work goes. He don't think he suppose to do anything in the house. He feels as though, I suppose to go to work and still come home and be a house slave. I pay majority of the bills here in the house and i buy all the grocery and get all the personal hygiene stuff. He feel like I suppose to while he take his money and give it to the church. He gives the church all his time and money. He completely ignores me for church and the church people. He acts as though I am not good enough for him when he is around these people. Note he uses my car for church. Only time he want to be bother is when he want some sex action. And oh course it is NO! He doestn't support me and or take care of me and I don't think that I should be submissive to him. Am I wrong or do we really need some help?
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female
reader, Lady CAB +, writes (26 April 2008):
Lady CAB is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Obviously this guy has fallen into fundamentalist beliefs in a big way. That the woman is the housewife, the dutiful mother and the sex object, and the man doesn't do any of the domestic chores. The wife is supposed to respect and obey the husband in all things (see the letters of St Paul in the Bible). Tell him if he really wants a Christian marriage in that respect, why isn't HE the main breadwinner?He's obviously had some kind of crisis to fall into such stringent religion, most Christians lead happy and fulfilling marriages for both partners where each steps up to the plate and support each other. He needs to learn this relationship takes two to tango. You and him. If everything has to be the way HE wants it, he should find somebody who will be his doormat.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 How can he profess the love of God in him when he does not treat and love you in the right way?
Tell him to marry the church and ask him to stay in that church.
If you love God, you must honour your wife and parents.
Many Christians gave to God but do not give to their parents or wife.
This is wrong.Thats why I say , many Christians are hypocrites.
A man must love his wife like Jesus love His bride -the church.
He should consult with you and cannot make unilateral decisions.
He should help you and take care of you and not devote all his time and money to the church or those people.
He is like a loose cannon. God help him and pray for sanity in him.
Sorry, he will not listen to you but you can go to his pastor and have a friendly chat with him.
If it does not work out, then you need to get away from him till he wakes up from his religious zealotry.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): I'm not married but I'm a protestant myself and I know that when you find Jesus everything changes and it's for the better. Most of the time your family will see a change in you and criticize you a lot because they just can't understand many things we do. Christianity and/or religion is a way of life and you usually lose the people who you thought were your friends to it and it's worth it. But I think that what he is doing to you is wrong. Church and Jesus are suppossed to reunite family not destroy it. He is giving you a bad testimony if he is denying you for church and church people. How was he before he turned to religion? Was he this disrespectful with you? Did he gave more importance to other people than to you? If so he might be a narcissistic who have found a way to be accepted and praised in a crowd and might not be that much into God at all. I mean, I don't want to judge him because he could be into God really but since you feel this way I believe he might be using religion as an excuse to be a bad husband. He ows you an explanation and he really needs to learn to balance his priorities. You can try to go to church with him just to see the way he behaves with you and if you can understand why he seems so thrilled with church and church people. I don't know, maybe you've misjudged him and eventually you'll share with him the faith. You can also make friends with people at church (with the pastor or the pastor's wife) and tell them about how you feel, I'm sure they'll try to help. You can schedule a counseling sesion with them too so they can confront your husband about this behavior of his. Try not to argue wiht him about the bible in the meantime. I think you do need help from a third party. Either a professional or a religious person in authority who can make him listen and see what he is doing to his marriage. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Aeval  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 How old is your husband? What church is he part of? Could it be he feels he is missing somehting in his life and is trying to fill the void? he sounds somewhat selfish and needs a good smack!!
maybe take him to a preist for councelling!!!
Good luck
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