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41-50,
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writes: i met this man online almost two weeks ago and after exchanging phone numbers we clicked instantly. We were both smitten by each other texting all day calling every night telling each other how much we missed each other it was crazy we had such good emotional intimacy. We had agreed to meet on Friday...last Friday but because he couldn't wait I agreed to met the Thursday night before. He came over to my place I know not a good idea but he is a police officer so I trusted him and we liked each other on meeting. Some kissing and hugging took place but we did not go all the way. When he left to go home I thought we were fie ...then early the next morning he sent me this antagonistic email about how I didn't call to see if he got home okay and I didn't text in the morning either so I am not interested in being his friend. He left a little mad because we didn't have sex...so I didn't call so he could cool off and contact me in him own time...and I feel asleep.Now he hasn't called me in three days and when I call he sends my calls to ignore. I have apologized numerous times for hurting me but he wont even let me explain to him on the phone or come over to my house. The only way I have to contact him is via text and it is hard to explain through text. I just think that even though I was wrong it is severe punishment not to call someone for three days because they did call you when you got home.I am wondering is there more to this story than meets he eye? Did he not like me when he met me and he is covering it up? Was he mad because of the lack of intercourse? The punishment does not fit the crime and why throw everything away of course I am not going to be perfect no one is. Anybody have ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice i had a feeling that he was playing me but after nine replies that say the same thing i cannot deny it.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 for future reference just because he's a police officer does not make him safe or a nice guy. Police officers often break the law because their buddies on the force will protect them.
As for this particular guy... he came over and wanted to get laid. He didn't get laid, so he's gone. Plain and simple.
now he's using any excuse he can for why he's done with you. He realized he's going to have to put some effort and money into you in order to get laid so it's not worth it to him.
Get a copy of the book "why men love bitches" and read up on the ju-ju-be method... basically you don't give out so much in the beginning... they get very little... very little attention.... no constant all day texting or calling in the beginning.... that is fun for them at first but then it grows old and can't be maintained and the thrill is gone.... and if they are only in it for the thrill and the fun, then they are gone too...
move on... NEXT.
and next time you meet a guy online, if he doesn't want to see you within a week (for a casual drink such as coffee or something) then know he's a time waster....
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Like others have said, he is cheesed off because he didn't get laid. A similar thing happened to me, also with a policeman, incidentally. He pursued me, we kissed, then when he tried to take it further and I said no, he went cold and tried it on with my friend instead. He (who I'd known for barely a week) also tried to turn my friend (who I'd known for 18 years) and me against each other. It was totally ridiculous and pathetic.
Do not waste another second on this guy. I know that's easier said than done, but please try not even to think about him ever again. He is no good at all.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): Everything that shimmers is not gold, let me tell you.. My friend met a guy online who after lots of message back and forth stated that he was a policeman, he said ' I really shouldn't say but we have such a connection' lol anyway they went for dinner all was good . Then my friend went away on a course. Of course he didn't call, months went by no word and my friend wrote him off as one of those things And she even deleted his phone number.. Next thing a text comes through ' hey stranger remember me??' My friend answers ' no who is this' as its just a number he replys it's Gordon remember the fireman! My friend texts ' fireman? You said you were a policeman ? ! Lol' and guess what no reply from him even to this date.. Do not trust anyone who says ' we have amazing chemistry or connection' the only connection they want is in your pants. Come on .. Do not invite anyone no matter what they say they do etc to your home . They take this as an invite into your pants ... You need to wise up. That could have went horrible wrong.. You could have been raped, or even murdered. Men, single or married want one thing , sex.. And they will see any of the above as encouragement to getting that .. So stop them before they get to that point.. Date and go places . Get to know them ..
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (22 April 2013):
 He sounds like a nutcase. Do not continue any contact with him, for your own sake.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Hi
Yup he just wanted sex and because he had managed to hook you with his calls,texts and an early meet - at your place - he thought you were gagging and would 'put out'. But you didn't so he's gone now.
You have learned now that on no account (for safety reasons too) do you invite a complete stranger to your home, whatever he says his job is.It gives out totally the wrong message.
Now forget this man and move forward with a different approach and attitude, think yourself lucky your not on the News another statistic.
Good Luck
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2013):
 So, you were supposed to check on a police officer to make sure he made it home allright :) ? sorry, but that sort of stroke me as funny.
He was just mad because he had planned to get laid and he didn't. He realized he 'd have to sweat it a bit more to get to the goodies, and he does not feel like investing any more time and patience in that. Reason why, he comes up with something to shake you off and is probably alreday moving on to some easier target.
It's not a matter of punishment not fitting the crime, because no crime was committed. You are under no obligation to go to bed with a guy when HE thinks it's time, the timing must be good for both. Only, someone who is not really interested won't be willing to wait.
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (22 April 2013):
 Because he was just looking for sex. He built you up pretty good with the initial meet (to see what you looked like in the flesh) followed by the calls and texts.
He rushed you into seeing him on the Thursday, because he couldn't wait (to have sex) and when you didn't give him what he wanted, he created 'drama' to get away from you quickly.
That's why he has not been back in touch.
(don't be tempted to contact him,or els he will manipulate you and use you)
It's not you, it's him playing the sex trolling game, he's obviously an expert (or should we say sexpert!) but you foiled him because you are not just looking for a shag!!
The internet is full of creeps like this and they need more women to say NO...because then they might realise that women are not objects to be used and cast aside.
Get yourself back to online dating and get to know smeone really well before you invite them home. The ones that stick around are the contenders!!! :-) x
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2013): hi there! that guy is a j^^k.Honestly. he just want to have some fun.Guys like that deserves to forgotten.Come on, first meeting, he expects to have more than kissing and hugging? I can just imagine, if you really like someone, you should be expecting him to behave as a gentleman.His so rude, honey.. Forget him, you will never be happy with him..Trust me and mark my words...
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