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female
age
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anonymous
writes:I had a relationship with someone I used to work with 3 years ago. He is 18 yrs younger than me. Neither one of us has seen anyone since.I left 1 month ago but we have always remained friend since we broke up. We have got very close in the last 18 months and are still in touch (e-mails and txt) and see each other almost daily (I now work 5 mins from him). I don't know what he wants but he makes suggestions that things could go further again but backs off I get too close. He has had a couple of bad experiences in the past and this seems to make him unsure of women in general. Everyone thinks there is something going on when there isn't. How do I find ouit what he feels.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried speaking to N but as usual he won't answer. My daughter had a 17th party in our garden a couple of weeks ago, N was invited. N can much to my surprise, got on really well with my son(25yrs old). Helped me a lot with things and spent a lot of time with me.I decied, when he left, to kiss N and N kissed me back twice, but wouldn't stay! His mate stayed longer and chatted to me he recons N is just scared of taking the plunge again. When I went back to work on the Monday N was waiting for me.He spoke about the party but not what happened. N has waited for me every morning and evening since. He went on holiday just over a week ago and txt me the minute he arrived to say he was safe, although he didn't contact anyone else. N didn't tell me he was back but I passed N driving his car when I went out on Saturday morning, not unusual you might say but this was not a way he might ususally drive although he knew where I would be as I do the same thing every week. Everyone thinks there is still something there but he just won't do anything about it. I have made it know that I am chatting to others on line in the hope that it will make him junp one way or another!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried talking to him about what people are saying and he says nothing. He has never talked about his feelings to me even when we were going out. We never broke up properly we just decided to cool things for a while as everyone at work was asking questions he didn't want to answer. His best mate thinks we should try again but we won't answer him either. The girl that took over my job says she feels like a gooseberry whenever I am around as he only has time for me. If I need help he is always there for me and even comes over to my new job to talk to me. I will try talking to him again but I don't hold out much hope.
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (31 May 2007):
 i no its obvious but talk 2 him about she if u want 2 get back with him as well. talk bout what people think is going on between u and go on further from that. what u have 2 think about is do u want 2 get back with him and try again or do u want 2 remain friends
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Hi hun, first age doesnt matter my fiance is 20yrs younger than me. If like you have said he has had bad experiences in the past this could have alot to do with how he is feeling at the moment, And time with your friendship could help and show him that he can trust again, I understand how you must be feeling as to me you seem you are quite settled with him, Have you thought of writing him a letter i no you said you e-mail and txt all the time, But to write just how you are feeling and how you feel for him is so much more personal to sit quietly and think of all the things you really want and need to say. This done in your own time without the pressure to send straight away as you do in a txt may help you understand some of the feelings you are experiencing as well. Ive always felt writing a letter you can then look back on helps so much. I cant promise you would find out how he feels but its worth a shot love, i do hope things work out for you both and i hope this helps a little take care and good luck.
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