A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok soo imm going to be 16 in 2 months. the guy im talking to will be 19 in 5 days. we have been talking on the phone and texting for about 2 months now. we`ve hung out 3 times. once in a group, once on our own, and then he came to watch me cheer one time. hes a great guy. i like him a lot. the thing that concerns me is he sends me very very graphic texts almost every night along with pictures of himself. he says things of how he wants to hurt me during sex and how he wants to pull my hair and "make me bleed" and that hes going to "get so rough that ill have to make him stop". sorry for thae graphicness. so, this is really starting to bother me. i tell him all the time that i dont want him to actually hurt me and he says "youve never had sex with a guy like me, but i 100% promise youll love it" im not sure what this means.... im scared to have sex with him... im scared hes really going to hurt me! please help! what do i do? i wana make this work! =/thanks!love, marissa.
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male
reader, caterpillarchapstick +, writes (8 February 2010):
some roughness during sex is normal but he sounds more like he intends to make you fear him. if you are smart you will just end things now. he is obviously not going to make you happy. its possible that he is just messing with your head to see how much control he can inflict on you. end things.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 You and every one of your age should know first thing about sex....Sexual activity in its true and real spirit is as delicate as flower. There is no space for force, pain, or any form of negativity...in action, in speech, or even in thought. Sex with force is a form of animal, men cannot and should not think himself as animal.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 Damn... I'm very afraid for you now.... Can you show these texts messages to your mother. I'm scared that he may have hurt some other girl before.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 February 2010):
Please listen to ms anonymous, this guy is being very truthful with you. He likes to hurt women during sex, it makes him happy to see them in pain and watch them cry. If you continue to contact him, if you go anywhere alone with him, he will rape you, and then say you "wanted it". Continuing to have anything to do with this guy, is telling him your interested and you want him to hurt you and have rough sex.
THIS GUY IS NOT LYING, HE WILL RAPE YOU AND HURT YOU IF HE EVER GETS THE CHANCE.
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A
female
reader, ash.ton +, writes (7 February 2010):
holy crap.
hi my name is ashton. i'm a cheerleader too(: i'm also fifteen. and i've been with my boyfriend for a year. we have talked about sex, but nothing like this. if i was you, i'd stay FAR away from him! he sounds like he really would hurt you! and honey, i honestly think all he's in it for is sex. for your own good, stay away!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 February 2010):
 Listen to your intuition. The part of you that says this guy is clearly a psycho and to stay away from him.
He sounds like he will really hurt you and make sex an incredibly scary and painful experience. And, he doesn't sound like he cares about YOU at all - just getting some ass that he can abuse in the bedroom. Maybe he's a great guy to the rest of the world, but I suspect that once you're in a relationship with him he turns into a guy you don't even recognize.
His sexual desires are abusive and crazy. A real man, a real partner, a healthy relationship is not one in which you feel scared, or nervous. A good guy would never want to hurt you or see you in pain. This guy clearly gets off on it. He sounds a little sick to me!!
I hope you avoid him and wait for a good guy to come along who will make you feel beautiful and comfortable, and would never dream of doing the things this guy has said to you.
Good luck, sweetness!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): Stay very far away from him! I was so shocked when I saw your post. When I was 15 I was almost in the exact same situation as you are. I made the mistake of not staying away and he did exactly what he had said he wanted to do. As soon as we started he was really hurting me and I told him to stop because I couldn't do it and no matter what I said or did he still did what he wanted. When it was over he said to me "I know you loved it and it's only going to get better from here". I was literally crying and he was standing there telling me I loved it! He will hurt you as he said he would and I bet he would not listen to anything you would say. Please stay away from him. You shouldnt take a chance like that. That is something you would have to live with forever and it could ruin alot for you in future relationships.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (7 February 2010):
 i agree with all above, you havent known him long enough to know what type of guy he really is, he could be putting on an act, he wouldnt be the first. the things he says are not right and fair to you.
stay away
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A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (7 February 2010):
 He sounds like a psycho!!!He could very well be exagerating, it seems to me that he is bigging himself up so that you will have sex with him. I wouldn't be so concerned about the messages he's been texting you, they are not important compared to what YOU want! Do you really want to be involved with an older, sex-obsessed man? There are two things that strike me about your post;#1 - he is 3 years older than you. #2 - you have only known each other two months.The fact that he's older than you is concerning because guys at that age aren't generally interested in younger girls, most go through the stage of looking for a relationship in women older than themselves. This guy you speak of could be an exception, but consider that he might just want to use you for sex. You need to be sure that he genuinely likes you and wants to be in a relationship, before jumping into bed with him. And i'm sorry, but 2 months is nothing! How much do you know about him, other than his sexual intentions? very little i would guess. DO NOT rush into anything with him! relationships take a long time to develop, 3 meetings with him is not good enough! Have respect for yourself. Don't let him take advantage!All the best xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): I seriously advise you not to get close to this guy let alone have sex with him. It sounds like he has some pretty extreme fantasies and there is no saying for certain that in the heat of the moment he will "stop" even if you tell him. Also if u start hanging out with him alone there is a risk to yourself that he will force himself on you. You shouldn't feel scared or threatened by a partner. Remember you CANNOT turn back time if something were to happen so its better to avoid it now rather than regret it forever. I suggest you walk away from this relationship and find someone that u feel comfortable with. There are plenty of nice guys out there. All the best and stay safe!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): He's not a good guy just a man on the prowl looking for another conquest. Wisen up and don't be played for a fool.
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