A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I just got married the other day. On the way home from the wedding my husband and I got into a argumement about money mostly because I want to buy a house and he doesn't want to wait to find a home to buy to move because he is currently driving far to go to work. He thinks we should just find a rental really fast so he doesn't have to drive anymore but I don't want to throw any more money away on renting.. During the small argument he said "I just started a new job a month ago, you expect me to start a new job, and buy a house a month after starting the job?" This isn't what is bothering me however. He had been drinking and when he drinks and he may get loud with me if we argue. We got married on short notice because we have a baby together and a few weeks ago the court had informed me that my then boyfriend was going to have to pay the birthing costs back because I was on Medicaid at the time. They said the only way he would not have to pay is if we got married. Well I am also pregnant with his 2nd baby and the courts said if we aren't married by the time I have this baby that we will have to pay the birthing costs for that delivery as well. We talked about marriage before, and he has proposed to me. We just hadn't set a date or anything yet. When I told my parents about the situation, they said they would throw us a wedding. We did want to be married, so we were thankful. The thing that is bothering me, is during that argument my husband said that he's been through a lot in the last month, changing jobs, I want to find a home, *we had to get married* is what he said. So it hurt me, and I almost started crying when he said that but I held back. After that I told him not to talk to me, because when he drinks he acts rude and thinks he can raise his voice to me which soberly he never ever does and I don't like it. We didn't talk about it after that but we did make up a few minutes later when I changed the subject. What do you think about him saying that we had to get married? He seemed happy to marry me when I mentioned it so I don't know if I should be offended. He is not a big drinker either.
View related questions:
drunk, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 September 2007):
 It sounds like you were pressured into marriage, by the welfare department.
It is not necessarily true about paying back the medical bills, unless you went to court for child support. A judge has to order the medical bills be paid, or D.F.S has to file with a court.
First let's look at what D.F.S. said. Please turn in whoever gave that information to you. They have no authority to give any type of legal advice or legal threats to you. It is a violation for them to tell you, if you don't do something, something else will happen. "Courts = law", "D.F.S. = employees with ZERO legal authority"
It sounds like his drinking needs to stop. You can't get anything accomplished by fighting or arguing with someone who has been drinking, and if that's what happens when he drinks, the problem has to be eliminated which would be his drinking.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Alcohol isn't a good mixture when it comes to any kind of anger, even a very small amount (of anger) can be greatly inflated with a little bit of booz. The best thing you can do is talk, try to get him in a mood where he is comfortable, and talk to him about it. Relationships are way more fickle than they were in the 'good old days' it's important that you try to figure out ways to cope with eachother. Maybe you could stay with the parents until you've enough money to successfully make it out on your own. Stay together for the kids!
...............................
|
