A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im close friends with a guy and we was talking the other day and we spoke about dating, he said 'to date someone you have to have a chemical reaction and i dont feel that with you' he said i had lovely eyes and a brilliant personality but couldnt date me ? i dont understand what ive done wrong. we've been close friends for 2 years and ive always been there for him so i was crushed. he also said that doesnt mean he wont feel differently in the future. ive also discovered hes been lying to me saying hes got a girlfriend when all hes got is her facebook profile. he lives in the uk she lives in the states. ive been told hes not seeing her so this is weird. im extremely hurt and confused what should i do ?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 May 2011):
You've not done anything wrong. At all. Sadly the problem is you can't just make someone like you. Either they do feel like the fancy you, or they don't. On this occasion, this guy simply doesn't feel like there's a deep enough connection for you to ever date. I'm sure you are hurt and confused, but I think instead of asking what you've done wrong, you should probably look at this guy carefully - I think you'll find he's not all that great.
- He completely lied to you about that so called girlfriend
- He said his feelings might change, meaning that he's happy to keep you hanging around for his ego, but little else.
I think you're better off moving on from him and just steering clear.
A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (18 May 2011):
 He is just not attracted to you thats all. You did nothing wrong - take it from a guy who consistantly hears the line "You're a nice guy, but..."
His stringing you and secrecy is that he does not wish to appear too decisive and cold about it. Just take him at his word and move on.
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A
female
reader, Romanilove +, writes (18 May 2011):
Honey, you have not done anything wrong! He was just honest with you. If you want any hope in feeling better about this i have a few suggestions 1- Don't "always be there" you are not his mother. Nor, do u want to be. 2- dont be worried about a girl that lives in the US when hes in the UK.
Of course your hurt now because u have feelings for him but take the whole friendship thing a notch down, bc u dont want to stay as a friend. Do your own things, dont contact him as often as you may do now. Fill your time with different things you like to do. Im sure he will notice he is spending less time with you. Do that for a while , let him miss u and see his reaction. B
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