A
female
age
41-50,
*ubberduck391
writes:Boy friend trouble. please help I am so lost and confused. I am 28 years old and I am dating a 49 year old man.?I have been dating this guy for the past 4 months. Last week I broke it off with him because he was always wanting to spend time with his friends and not me. and when we would go to dinner he would always invite his friends to come a long too. He is a successful man divorced with kids. He has a son that is 25. I have a 10 year old girl myself and I am successful too. We got back together last week but a girl showed up at my door last night saying she is seeing him too and showed me several text messages from him. He says he is not cheating and never would. He thinks that its someone trying to set him up, he says its my ex b/f because he was in town the day the girl came to my house. He's a lawyer and I am in the legal field. A friend of mine doesn't like him at all and claims that I am just a trophy to show off to his friends. Should I believe him or believe that my ex b/f would do something like this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): You know what I think you have asked this same question about a week ago. What different answers were you hoping to get?
Again, use your common sense...this guy is lying to you. Your ex would have to be really psycho to go to an elaborate set up like this one and why would he need to do that? First off I can't think of why a girl would be willing to walk up to your door for you ex and it just sounds too stupid to be true....and then there are the text messages from you boyfriend's phone? Come on, she is telling you the truth and she thinks the guy is a scum bag and she is angry at him too, but must be desperate to keep this lawyer to herself...seeing money most likely.
What do you want to do? Keep hanging onto him for his success or do you want to be your own person and cut this lying scumbag lose and find someone who won't need you for a trophy, but loves you for you. He is a player...he probably has a huge ego and has several young trophies that he is playing....he isn't that into you, he is spending most of his time with his friends doing what he wants to do and showing you off in front of them.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Was it his number on the text? Did you check out the content of the text message? Answering those, what do you think? It is not that easy to clone, or send a text message under cloche, unless sent by an email text, which would have the sender as an email address, and not a text.
You're both in the legal field, so with the evidence presented, guilty or not guilty? Why would someone try to set him up? Wouldn't it be easier for your ex to set you up than him, knowing more of your personal information? Has your ex had contact with this guy to know his personal cell phone number, and knowing he's a lawyer, I'd believe, if caught he'd fear possible charges being filed against him.
Seriously, I'd be weighed more toward your boyfriend not being honest than I would his being set up. I recommend ending this. If he can't be man enough to admit when he screws up, he's not ready to be involved with you and exposed to your daughter. I'm sure you don't want her to learn that avoiding responsibility is proper behavior. If you accept it as such, she will too.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): If the text messages that she showed you came from his phone, then how could he find a way around it?
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Sorry, lots of red flags here.... why would your ex want to set him up??? Sounds like your man is not being honest... and the woman with the text messages... I suppose he will say that your ex sent them.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): I doubt that someone is trying to set him up to be honest, i mean if your friend doesn't like him, friends usually have good instincts about these things.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (11 June 2009):
 Looking at the age difference and the fact that if his SON dated you, it'd be more fitting, I would definitely say that you are some type of trophy. Especially given the fact that he invites his friends out all the time with the two of you. I don't think your ex would go through that trouble, seeing as it is a lot of work. If there were text messages from him, you'd know it. I mean wouldn't the text have his number on it? Anyway, my best advice for you would be to forget about this guy and find someone a bit more your age. Use your common sense and stop judging by what others say. Only you really know the situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2009): Someone is trying to set him up? Wow - he must consider himself a great lawyer to come up with some crap like that. I just got out of a relationship with someone in law school and he was the best manipulator I've ever met... will make a great laywer and awful husband.
You don't have to take my advice, obviously, but I say RUN in the other direction.
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