A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend broke up around two months ago. But, we work together and he keeps beging me to take him back. Funny thing is that he broke up with me.We had been together for four years, I managed to get him off drugs and he stopped partying so hard and he started to get his life together.The problems started around 5 months ago on our romantic holiday in Italy. I had gone to use the internet on his mobile (which is something which I always do and he has no problem with it). It was open on his facebook page and I saw that that he had privated messages to another girl whom we work with. Now, belive me I know I shouldn't have read them but something deep down was telling me something was wrong, she is a big slut and she really boasts about it. He had messaged her telling her were he would like to give it to her, and that he would love to go with her at least once. I comfronted him straight away and he told me that he was just joking with her. I belive that he didn't cheat on me and he had no intention of doing so but I couldn't believe he said those things. How can he disrespect me so much. We ended up fighting for the rest of the holiday and i couldn't even stand him touching he.After that I tried to move on, after giving him one hell of a scolding and warning. Not even a month after, he came up to me and told he that he wanted to go on a month's holiday with his mates. I gave him every possible reason in the world why not to go, but the had an answer of everthing. So for the next year he would only have 6 dyas off to spend with me. The holiday is going to cost him over 3,000. We had been talking about getting a married and getting place together for over a year and one fine day he came up to me and told me that we would not be able to afford it for at least another 5 years."So how come u r going to go on a holiday and spend all that money? Why can't u save it for our future?" I asked him. All his reponce was that they are different thing and I don't understand that things are expensive. (I am the saver out of the two of us)After all this my brother came up to be and told me that he had been planing a surprise weekend holiday for me after i had finished my Masters but my boyfriend hadn't been to check about the leave for us, he gave him well over a weeks chance. When i confronted him about I told him that is seemed he didn't want to go. He started screaming and shouting at me infront of me work colleuges and calling me a lair and that i belived my brother over him.At this point he broke up with me.He keeps trying to emotionally blackmail me now by telling me if i ever really loved him that I would go back to him. And that he is a really good guy that has just made some mistakes.I do really love him, but i Can't believe that he is ready. He has shown me that we are not the main priortity and I keep feeling that i am always last. All my friends say that he does truly love me but that i deserve better. My main fear is that if i take him back and something else goes wrong I will ended up hating myself for going through it again.I am so confused my heart and my head are saying different things. Any advice
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (12 August 2012):
 Besides that, yes, if you really did love him, you probably would go back with him. The problem with that is, he doesn't deserve your love because he doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. And, after the things he's done, your love has probably waned quite a bit.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 August 2012):
It sounds like you had good cause to break up with your boyfriend and I would stick to your guns. That means to hold steadfast and do not waiver from your decision. He was disrespectful to you more than once and took you for granted. I would not go back with him under any circumstances.
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