A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here is the situation, my relationship with my gf has been great, i realized last weekend that i had been smothering her, by being with her all the time. I mean i don't care what she does with her friends, but when she started dating me they stopped calling her to do stuff. I know our tunnel vision was the problem, but my gf proposed a break to get more time apart, but she is so afraid of what her father and my parents and friends will think of her. She said she just couldn't do that to me so i proposed that i only see her on sunday night the night before i go back to school every week. She's very confused, she fell to fast and doesn't know if its real and thinks that dating other people is the only way really to find out, i told her she could, but i just couldn't do that. I think in the end that the break is inevitable, but she is so afraid of losing me or hurting me that she won't help herself.What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Nothing wrong with her current mixed feelings. It's understandable.
But don't be her doormat-convenient BF. Don't carry a torch for this girl once she says she's gonna date around with others. If she's "seeing other people" then so are you. There's a term for this situation: It's called a "breakup."
A
male
reader, Darren R  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 listen mate let her no how you feel and you are not happy at all with the situation. if she dates other people then thats her loss. but you need to make it clear that if she does then you dont want to see her any more. i mean what are you to her a replacement for a while. you shouldn't hold back and watch her do this to you, be a man, tell her all or nothing at all and if she says nothing then it was never ment to be. There will be other's mate. so if she dont like it then step back before your hart really does gets broken because it will hurt like mine probably will soon.
hope that helps.
let me know how you get on. cya
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Maybe the problem is that your relationship might be too planned out. Like you mention that you suggested seeing her every sunday. Like that takes away from the spontaneity that any passionate relationship needs. I think a good relationship should always be a little more spontaneous and keep things exciting. It should have a element of surprise where you don't know what to expect. That keeps people interested. By you suggesting to see her every sunday, she knows what to expect. It can become boring.
In terms of "seeing other people to see where she stands with you" I don't really buy that line. I guess I am more of a realist. And I guess in that sense I am kind of black and white. Either it is or it isn't. If she wants to see other people then obviously she doesn't love you. So if I were you I would move on. And remember for the future to keep things exciting in the relationship. Don't plan too much.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I think you did the right thing by letting her date other people. There are so many jerks on the dating scene right now that she will realize the good thing that she has right in front of her eyes. And ultimately what is meant to be will be.
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