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female
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*ittle girl x
writes: This particular story is very hard for me to talk about, and this is one of the first times i am writing everything i feel.Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months and although im only 15 i really really love him.However on saturday night he got extremley drunk and we were at this party and i couldnt find him. My friend told me to check upstairs, too see if he'd fainted and as i walked in, i dound he was having sex with my best friend.Running straight back out, and out of the house, i grabbed my other friends, and they cabbed it back home as they knew i culdnt stay there.Not only have i lost my boyfriend, but my best friend, and although i never like to fall out with girls about boys , i cant help but not.At school on monday , i couldnt look ather and its been 4 days now and i still cant.He has been ringing me coonstantly aying he made a mistake and was so drunk, but i dont no what to do.Everytime i see him and her together it makes me cry.But i miss him so much, and dont no what to do.I need them both in my life, but fear i have been hurt to much, and have to much pride to forgive themplease helpx
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): If he was that drunk he wouldnt have been able to do it - and I suppose that it is just coincidence that it was your best friend he was sleeping with?
Dont let alcohol be used as an excuse. If you excuse it now you will be excusing it in all your relationships for the rest of your life.
You dont NEED them both in your life but obviously its harder not to allow them back in. You say he keeps appologising but she hasnt? Perhaps you should pick your friends more carefully. The damage has been done, you need to think about what will make you most happy and Im sure that its not being betrayed by your boyfriend and best friend again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): I think you had the unfortunate luck of associating with two very shallow and selfish people who are driven only by hormones and without an ounce of morals or intellect to guide them...yeah, so they are both sorry, big deal....you can do better than both of them for friends...you can forgive for yourself, if you don't it will be you who is eaten up inside not them, but it does not mean that you have to forget and take them back into your life....find some better friends who are less shallow, and actually care about whether or not they are hurting your feelings with their actions...these two are really lame, move on.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 December 2007):
Cheating in its self is an act. It hurts like hell, but it's still just a choice which he made. Alcohol lowers will power, but if someone who may cheat it's still a choice to put yourself in a position which something like that can happen. People use alcohol as an excuse. It's not, behavior is behavior no matter drunk or sober. We all have to take responsibility for our own actions.
This act also is one that is not directed to hurt you. They didn't pre-plan an intent to hurt you. It's an act of selfishness all though it includes your feelings in a bad way.
Forgiving is up to you. You can forgive to move on without associating yourself with them. I don't think dating him would be a good move because he may just get drunk again.
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