A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The other day, my boyfriend and I were arguing in my car. He kept saying he was going to leave me so i fianlly got tired of the threats and told him that i was not going to beg him to stay anymore. At one point he just sat and let me express my fellings about the situation and when i turned to look at me he slapped me in the face. At first i stared shocked, but then i started to cry. He quickly comforted me and said sorry and when i told him to get out of my car that i was threw, he started to get annoyed saying that i've hurt him before, and yet he stayed. i kept crying more and told him to leave and he threatened to kill himself, sticking a pen in his mouth that i ripped out of his hand, then began beating his chest and telling me to hit him. i was so frightened. i began comforting him because i didnt know what else to do. now he's telling me he loves me and he's sorry (few days later) and wants me back. he says he'll get help but idk what too do. help me please. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 My oldest brother is a woman basher. He has been for at least 25 years, ..but if you want to include what he did to me in his childhood make that his entire life of over 40 years.
It started with slaps, then punches, black eyes, blood lips, ...fast fwd through years of this, and he was eventually smashing my head in to brick walls, steel clothesline poles, dragging me around with knives at my throat, so many incidents I could write a novel about it, ... and the last time he ever touched me was when I was 16, standing in a bathroom having a totally surreal moment, thinking 'omg, how are you going to explain to mum and dad that you have killed me', as he choked me until I was unconscious.
I told him after that one if he ever so much as looked at me sideways in a manner I did not like I would call the cops on him, and it is only that he knew I meant it no exceptions that he stopped.
Ya know what I copped some of this abuse for too? ...hmm, not getting off the phone when he wanted it, ... not leaving the house fast enough if he had a victim (erm i mean girl) coming over, ... not giving him money or anything else of mine that he wanted, ... for not being able to stand by and watch him throw a pregnant woman through walls, ... stuff like that, ... and the biggest kicker, ... he would demand that I forgive him and tell him I loved him and then do things like this to me when I refused.
He too would threaten (sometimes attempt) suicide as a means in which to try to control me and all the other women he has spent his life abusing. Trust me, I tried to warn them all, but none would listen until it was too late.
Actually, he just got out of jail on Christmas Day where he has resided for the past year and a half after police kicked his door down and found his badly battered girlfriend lying in her own pee and vomit (such was her reaction to extreme fear) doused in fuel, whilst he held a knife to her throat and taunted her by flicking a cigarette lighter.
I have spent quite a bit of time helping this latest victim get the help she needed to peice her life and just her self back together and know in this instance, he started with a poke to the chest here and there, then came the slaps, .... yadayadayada, ... and she may well have ended up dead that night coz she did not do what everyone kept telling her to and get as far away from him as far as possible.
I know this may sound like an extreme example, ... but he started where your guy did, with just a slap, suicide threats, irrational behaviour, ...and look where it ended up.
Dont count on 'getting help' as a fail safe fix either. My brother has done anger management courses 4 or 5 times, sought psychiatric help, psychological counselling, you name it, and at the end of the day he always reverts back to his old ways , and I expect always will.
Please, don't do this to yourself, ... just run!.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Get out now b4 it's 2 late it starts with a slap and then him trying to make u feel sorry for him cause he said he was going to kill him get out get out get out . For 7 yrs I was in a abbisive relationship it started with a slap and I cried for hrs I said just like u it was ova and he started getting angry many of time told me he was going to kill him self it's just to suck u bak in .. But eventully he starts to relise that ur not going to leave him a slap becomes a punch and leads to much more the threats get worse and more real u need to end it now I Neva had the sense to do it from the first time he hit me cause I thought to my self his sorry he will Neva do it again and treated me like a
princess so I though he was sorry so i let it go until he did it agin
and again even if he says he will get help let him get help but not with u around.. I almost lost my life from that prick and I Neva want to see another girl go throw the same thing fuk him off u deserve to be treated with respect .... There is no suck thing as I hit u cause I love u
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 Run as fast as you can babe. Tell him to get help, sure, but dont stay anywhere near him. Ignore him completley, and dont feel bad about it. You are not his mum, babe, it is not your job to make sure he is ok. I will be blunt and say that after i got out of an abuive relationship the man threatened to kill himself by overdose. I told him to come round and i would give him the pills. He never did come lol
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A
female
reader, SeXylOvE12 +, writes (6 January 2010):
 I totally agree with Angzw ... get out!
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (6 January 2010):
You are about to stay in an abusive relationship. He WILL hit you again if you stay. He is a dangerous unstable boy and you should get out now. What you are experiencing (pity for him) is exactly what he wants. Things will be fine for a few months and he will be the best boyfriend in the world, until he hits you again. Dump him.
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