A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy three years ago. He was much more into the relationship than I - the first one to say the "L" word, first one to suggest we move in together.Six months into living together, he tells me that he's not ready for a permenant relationship, and that he needs life experience. Despite loving me, he wants to know what else is out there.It is two years since that, and he is still around. We spend almost every day together, and are comfortable and slightly intimate. However, whenever I bring up the question of "what is this?" he remains steady on that we're just friends, but he still loves me. He has told me that he regrets breaking up with me, but still wants life experience.I love him, but I don't know what to do or say to him any more. So I'm putting it out there... What is this? And what is my next step? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, just want to know  +, writes (7 April 2007):
It sounds like he is playing games. I would just hand him his walking papers and move on. By staying around you only hurt yourself and he probably doesn't take you serious because you still stick around. Life is too short don't waste anymore of your time w/ him. There are plenty more fish in the sea!
A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (7 April 2007):
 Wow, this sounds like the situation that I am in as well. I have no idea, why men think it's okay to treat women like these - but they do. What I have come up with within the last few days to try and make sense of my situation is that - we as woman are codependent. Well, those who continually waiting anyway. We have the need to 'fix' things and we are not satisfied until we know that there is nothing left for us to do. He is giving you false hope and is too selfish to let you move on. Hopefully you don't have children or have children with this person, because he is not serious about you. Walk away from the situation, if you can. I know you say that you love him and that may be a very difficult thing for you to do. You can't make someone love you and after all this time, he still doesn't and he won't. I understand why you're trying so hard, though. Just keep an open mind and hang in there, but try to be strong. If someone else comes your way, grab him and run.
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