A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i are going out for almost two years and we got really serious! we're madly in love with each other but for the past two weeks he has been busy and im not getting to spend as much time as i want with him! suddenly, we became distant and now he's asking for space saying that i need to change my attitude. the only reason i act stupid sometimes is because he dont make time for me anymore ....not like he use to, and it hurts alot!!!i have no idea what to do to make our relationship better.What can i do?should i give him his space? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (24 June 2007):
 It all depends on what your behaviour is like.
Are you extremely possessive of his time and who he sees?
We all need our own independence even in a relationship like spending time with our friends and family and that goes for both men and women.
If you have been pushing him really hard to commit then he is being scared off, back off and see what happens.
Do you feel insecure because you have been hurt in the past. We tend to try to hold those we love close to us if we have had something happen to us like being hurt by someone close and we are all prone to it but it can become suffocating.
Start doing more things on your own or with friends, show him you can be independent.
He could be feeling like he wants out of this relationship and there is no way of knowing this unless you ask him honestly what he is feeling right now.
You can always tell him why you behave like you do and see if he says anything.
I am not trying to say that your relationship is over or anything but just try to make yourself more self confident and self sufficient as we don't always have partners to rely on in life and so we need to find our own inner strength from time to time. It will make you a stronger person and if your bf can see that you have a life of your own which doesn't always have to include him he will have a new respect for you and he may even think wow she is such a strong person and that is a very attractive quality so you may find that he then doesn't want other men to see how strong and confident you are.
Just be your own person, that is all I am saying.
Don't suffocate anyone in your life, be open and honest and if something bothers you say that it does but once you have said it then move on and don't dwell on it and turn it into an argument. Talk things through in a very grown up and mature way.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, Samira +, writes (24 June 2007):
The only thing you can do is to give him space? I can only imagine that right now you are full of every different emotion possible, but to keep calling or as you said acting stupid right now will only make matters worse. I do think how ever you should sit down with a pen and paper and right down some questions you really want to ask him, because right now your head is probably buzzing with if, buts and maybe. So after you have wrote down every thing you want to ask him, give him a call in a couple of days time, when you have had time to digest what he wants and your not so upset, and ask him to come around because you need to better understand what is happening, and what brought about this change so suddenly. Tell him after this you will leave him alone to do what ever he needs to do?
I do think that after this meeting you might then get a better under standing of where you stand, You might hear a lot of things that might upset you but I think if it is only space he wants, then in the long term it might make your relationship stronger.
Every relationship at one time or another goes though their ups and downs, but be patient, because hopefully in the future yours might just have more ups then downs after this!
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