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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: How can I stop missing him?Long story short: early in the relationship he asked about my past, I lied, came clean, he judged me and called me names (for my past) and became a bit controlling (I eventually stopped seeing my friends because he always gave me a hard time over it 'cos he knew what we did when I was single). So I'm practically friendless because in the process, everyone moved out for college. So here, no friends. Totally alone. While he has his friends and lately he had been seeing them a lot more than me, so I became quite jealous on Monday night because he had said he was going to be home, studying, and that that night we'd talk online. Well it was quite late and I called him to tell him that if he was tired he could just go to bed, and turns out he wasn't studying he was over at one of his friends'. Then I kinda threw a jealousy fit over the phone 'cos I heard a girl. However on Tuesday we talked and everything was fine he was telling me he loves me so much and wants to be with me forever, etc. He reassured me about the friends thing. Everything was fine until he started complaining that I was out of place throwing a jealousy fit over the phone while he was with his friends. That I should trust him, and that I'm become an insecure, controlling witch. He said he was reconsidering this relationship and told me that we should spend some time apart to think.Toda I called him, because he lives with his mom. And his mom called me very worried because she hadn't heard from him since last night. Last night he went over to his friend's place (he's also his classmate) because they had to work on a project due today. But she said that today morning he wasn't home - he hadn't slept there. That his brother hadn't heard from him either. So I started calling him like crazy until he finally picked up - he was at his friend's place again! So my guess is now he's at his friend's and probably I haven't even been in his mind. When we talked he was quite cold - he thanked me for letting him know his mom was worried but he wasn't affectionate or anything. Well I wasn't either but just because he's the one who wanted this break in the first place.So now, here I am, totally alone, feeling very lonely, sad and empty, because even if I had friends, I've never shared such a strong connection as I have with him. I'd say 95% of the time the relationship's pure joy. However I fear that he'll break up with me becuase he's quite a pessimist and stuff. All I want is to feel his tender hug and his sweet kisses! I'm so lonely and sad right now, and I miss him and to top it off, tomorrow is a special date for us. I miss him, and I love him so much... I just don't understand why does he say he loves me when we're doing great together, but suddenly if I make a little mistake, he acts like this! It kills me, I'm suffering here, alone, missing him, friendless, feeling an empty void in my chest, thinking about tomorrow and how tomorrow will be the same, and about how much time I'll be like this before he gives me an answer - to continue or to break up. I'm very, very sad and lonely. I missi him and want to stop missing him, but i love him so much and I've thought about him all day.
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 No man should stop you from seeing your friends. Everyone needs friends, family, and lover. You can't drop one; it will cripple your emotional and social life.
Despite the fact that he wants to control your behaviour, your attempts to do the same to him don't seem to be falling on such fertile ground. So you threw a jealousy fit. And he then decides you need time apart to reconsider the relationship. He doesn't appear to find himself accountable to you for some of his mysterious behaviour So it seems clear, he doesn't like anyone controlling his life the way he's controlling yours.
You've got to pick up with friends again and make new ones. While you're totally friendless, you're also defenceless against his emotional manipulation, which is not a good way to be.
A
female
reader, Caralots  +, writes (27 June 2008):
Give him up.
If ANY man is going to pick fights over small things, and blame them on you, then you dont need him. Yeah it sounds like it to me that you have more lust then love with him.
Girl you need to find a man who will let you have FREEDOM!
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