A
female
age
30-35,
*ehek
writes:hi readers...i need yor advice..i broke up with the love of my life 9 months ago...since then we have remained best buddies or i can say more than that....specially for the past 5 months.he behaves exactly like we used to when we were in relationship, pampers me , sometimes says that he loves me, has not told anyone...not our friends or even his parents about our break up, has not changed his relationship status from committed to single on orkut.spends a lot of time chatting and meeting me. hugs me , kisses me.....does eveything to make me happy , takes me out for dinner and buys stuff for me.but when i ask him to come back with me , he says ..i love you a lot but i cant come n a relationship because we fought too much and i cant handle that anymore...which is true...we really fought a lot.its like , when we are good together ...we are the best couple but when we fight..it turns really bad with swearing and all.he says he wont get in a relationship anytime soon with anyone else because he is sill in love with me. he doesnt want to let me go ever...because he says he cant live without me. he wants me to move on but be in touch and be best buddies forevr. says that except for my some bad things , im the best girlfriend that anyone could ever have.i love him more than anyone in my life and i honestly cant live even a day without him.but i need suggestion...what do i do?stay to see if he changes his decision or try to move on.he says he is certain that he wont come back...we shared a 2 and a half year relationship and i know for sure , the love content is what is keeping us together right now.plz suggest.
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female
reader, mehek +, writes (15 March 2010):
mehek is verified as being by the original poster of the question i want to thank each one of u fr taking out time to answer my problems.....he's really not dt type of guy who would keep it un official in d pretext dt once he has sum1 else , he vil kick me out....he geniunly loves me..i hv seen it.
acting on ur advice...i told him to cut all ties n contcts...he ws hurt by dt deciion n tried to convince me not to do it...but as i said den i wont b able to move on...he said ok..if dt makes u feel better.....go ahead...
but after 2 months as i hv my exams ryt nw...
so should i really cut all ties wid him??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): I have to agree that you should find the strength to cut contact for a while. I was in a similar situation and did get back together with my ex however we spent a few months apart with really no contact. He took me back despite a lot of fighting the first time we dated.
You can continue this situation, but it's really not ideal. You might think it's better than not having him at all. It's your choice but I would say if you want things to change, you have to take a risk. I know that's not the advice you want to hear, but that's all I can suggest for you. Maybe someone else has other advice.
Good luck sweetheart! You're stronger than you think you are.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (11 March 2010):
 if things are the same as they were when you were in a relationship then arent you still in the relationship kind of maybe he wants to make you think its unofficial incase someone else comes along he can just say to you that you both arent in a relationship so he can move on with someone else.if i was you id tell him that if your not in a relationship then he doesnt need to tell you he loves you and do all these things with you just to treat you like a friend otherwise yourl never be able to move on with your life and get over him because it seems the same as when you were in a relationship tell him that you love him and want to be with him but if he doesnt feel the same then things should change slightly between you both otherwise you wont be able to move on from one another but if there is a chance of a relationship then cant you work out the fighting as that way the relationship would be almost perfect?
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 March 2010):
 It sounds like your doing the relationship part anyway?
If you spend more quality time together like what you are doing then things may change in future.
Right now he wants to have a girlfriend without committing himself, without the maintainance; he knows it’s on your mind if you’ve asked him yet he still refuses to commit himself to your relationship. He’s going to have to make a choice sooner or later. If he hasnt made a move in say 6 months then find someone who appreciates you not someone whos uses you.
I bet if you start dating other guys he will get very jealous very quickly.
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