A
female
age
41-50,
*axjul22
writes:I have known this guy for 7 years and we have dated on and off. After knowing him for about 2 years I decided I was in love with him. He told me that he was in love with me the day he met me. Him and I didn't speak for a while (years) and he got engaged to someone else. He called me out of the blue and asked me out on several dates. When it surfaced that he was engaged he called it off and begged me to be with him. I wanted to, but I wasn't sure and it caused a lot of fighting so we decided it was best not to speak. We both tried to move on, but once again found each other and we finally were in a relationship that was healthy for both of us. We really loved each other. The relationship eventually went bad, and after we broke up he showed up at my house 2 months latertelling me he loved me and he missed me and all of these nice things. He showed up again 2 days later being very sweet and loving, but this time we got more into detail about what we have been doing with our time and I told him I was seeing someone (who looked a hell of a lot better than him on paper) and I'm not sure how he took it, but it didn't seem to phase him. He asked me to come over to his place the next night to watch a movie. I went to his house and he was being very cold to me. We ended up fighting and he told me he was not in love with me and sees no future with me. I don't know how to take this. I need opinions! All I know that if I wasn't in love with someone I wouldn't be showing up to their place telling them that I loved them. I would just go about my daily business and move on!
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2011):
I'll list everything that is wrong with your relationship (and I use that term very loosely)
1 - 7 years on and off? That's not love, and it's not a relationship. It's two people existing, and choosing not to see the light and move on. How can there be love if all you do is break up?
2 - He got engaged to another woman. He then contacted you out the blue and you had several dates. But the engagement wasn't mentioned until you found out. He then called off the engagement, and begged to be with you. In other words, he was looking to cheat on his fiance, and had no respect for her or for you.
3 - All you did was fight.
4 - Then it got a a little better - until more fighting.
5 - You then started to see someone else.
6 - He was even more cold to you.
You have wasted 7 years of your life on a man who really, really doesn't have a clue as to what he wants. I don't think he loves you at all. I think he's just a confused man who has no idea. And I think you're confused too.
you two shouldn't be together. Period.
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