A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid!Sorry if this is extremely long . I met this guy online some time ago and whenever we were chatting it wasn't for long, just regular small talk. I wasn't even paying attention, but generally I considered him to be a nice dude. Well, some months later (probably September), he told me he's going to come to my city with his friends and would like to see me. I was like 'okay sure'. It is essential to say that his city is in the neighbor country which is like 3 hours far from my hometown and 8-10 from the city where I go to college.November 2010I met him on the last day he was here (I soo didn't care and had forgotten he came)...and the moment I saw him, I felt attracted to him.(I had seen him on cam b4 but didn't think so) We spent a very nice evening together, and around 10 pm I met his friends quickly cuz they left to go back home.November - December :Since then,we were talking online much more differently, I would actually enjoy the convo. My family had already plans to go to his city for the New Yrs, so we did.New Years EveI was so excited to see him again! He introduced me and my sister to his friends and cousins we spent the new yrs eve all together,it was bliss. He also took us to his house for like 2 hours and I met his mom and walked his dog(lol) However, I wasn't sure if he liked me back cuz he didn't ask me out. February 2011We had a talk where we revealed we both like each other. He said he didn't ask me out cuz he wasn't sure about my feelings plus i was like his guest and it would of been weird. I was very honest that night,and told him if he ever wants to ask me out again he can do it, and that in life we shouldn't regret things we didn't do. He said there is going to be a future soon... And He's coming with some friends to my city in March.March 2011In the beginning of March we got into a stupid misunderstanding, that led me not going online for 10 days. When I got back, he talked to me first and said that even though he doesn't take full blame for what happened,he still wants to talk etc. We had a convo, and I said that i appreciate he made effort to talk to me but we should talk it out in person (i.e when he comes here). The next 2-3 conversations were kind of "cold", he asked me if i want to go to this other country on a trip with him but I kinda freaked out saying we need to talk first. He also thought I didn't have feelings for him anymore.Since then,things started to heal. We are back to our normal selves. He told me he's going to Paris soon, and also is thinking of going to London. And also said he likes me again.Thing is...He said he's coming here Mid March or Mid April, well he knows he can't come after the 15th of April because i'm not going to be here, so practically that leaves us with only 2 weeks? I mean right now its almost April. I have the feeling he won't come now,and if I ask him he might say "May". I already know he's coming with 2 friends (a guy which I met on the New Yrs trip) and a girl. So he might say that his friends cant come right now etc. Problem is he's been very trustworthy, so I am going to be mega disappointed if he doesn't keep his word. On the other hand, I can't appear that insensitive! (as in,he tells me his friend has a serious problem), but again I don't really care about seeing his friends,I wanna see him! It pisses me off how he talks about other countries etc but wont talk about coming here in a practical way.I am sure he likes me, but If he doesn't keep his word,I feel I'll start withdrawing.I plan on asking him when he's coming. But I really don't know how I should handle his response.Also, After the 15th April (Easter break) I am probably going to his city with my friends (we love it there)...But I don't wanna tell him, if he doesn't come here. I think it will be unfair to me. For those who will say "tell him how you feel", I think it is obvious that I don't wanna have a long conversation which will end up revealing my feelings.It will scare him off,plus, if he isn't concerned about keeping his word,then why should i show him i really care?any ideas?
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Wow, you two really dance around each other. It's been almost a year and you still can't figure where you stand with this guy. To tell you the truth, reading your post, even though it is long, I can't figure it out either.
If I had to take a guess I would say he wants to be friends, and not much more. This is based on personal experience. When a guy wants you, they make things happen. They make plans, and they make plans to see you alone. When they don't they make excuses, or they show up with friends in tow, so that nothing romantic happens.
He's had more than enough chances to make any romantic intentions known to you. I understand that this is probably very frustrating for you. My advice is to leave it alone, with no expectations. Just go on about your life and try not to fret so much about it. This way, if it happens, it will be a nice surprise. If it doesn't, you won't be so disappointed.
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Just wait and see if he keeps his word. If you don't want to talk to him about it there is not much you can do but wait and see if he keeps his word.
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