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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and this guy have been talking for four months and we are really in to each other but we aren't together as a couple. He told me that he liked me but he didn't want a girlfriend right now but I feel like I'm being used for his personal pleasure. How do I find out for sure, and do I just quit talking to him or wait for him to be ready to have a girlfriend ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, rachyg +, writes (11 September 2006):
 omg hun if u read my question its basically the same as urs i obviously cant give you much advice other wise id be abit weird.
but i fink we both need 2 move yano we r gettin used 4 there sexual pleasure they dont feel the same way as we do about them and like what sum1 else said 2 u THEY CAN HAVE SEX WITH US WIV OUT FEELING ANYFING FOR US i no it is really hard because we enjoy being with them soo much n fink that they will realise they want us but nooo hunny i dont think they r gonna try 2 leave it with him hunny and in a few month ill bet hell be runnin bk 2 u missin u try play hard 2 get so he sees wot his missin :D x
A
female
reader, giant scallop +, writes (11 September 2006):
This is a very common thing for young men to say, unfortunately men have a way of manipulating women to being in a position where they do enough to encourage you so you really like him and are willing to do sexual things with them and then they keep you at a safe distance so they are in control of the relationship (if there is one at all). Women/girls think that if you are doing physical things with each other then they assume the man feels the same emotional attachment as they do, but they don't. Men can remain pretty detached from their partner emotionally and still enjoy a good physical relationship. You cannot force him to be your boyfriend and indeed why would you want to try and persuade someone or wait for them to see if they ever want you enough. There are plenty of possible partners out there for you who would bend over backwards to be your boyfriend so don't get used by this immature specimen. You don't need to find out for sure because he has already told you, you do have fun with each other but he doesn't like you enough to be a proper part of his life, move on and learn a valuable lesson in love - to keep your wits about you - disappointing as it probably feels.
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