A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so me and this guy had hit it off very fast. i never thought that i would be that comfortable with anyone that soon. this was in a matter of a week. we spent about two months together and we were so happy. then one day he tells me he doesn't feel the same. but it doesnt make sense because now that we started to be "friends" or whatever he's acting like how we used to when we were together. what does this mean?!?!?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (13 December 2008):
 It's a comfortable feeling, one that he is already used to in already having been in a relationship with you. He doesn't want to loose what he has with you, the person you are and the things you give in a relationship. However he can't clearly make YOU the focal point in his life. He is wanting to keep the cake while he is still looking for the right icing to top it with!It doesn't necessarily mean that he is done with you as a romantic partner but it means that he isn't sure of his feelings most likely. He is keeping his options open and stringing you along until he decides what he really wants.
The funny thing is that when someone does this, they often find out that what they really wanted was right there all along. Right infront of them. Waiting to frost that cake with just the right ICING!
You should step back and let him come to you. Don't allow him to know just how much you care but don't try to act differently becuase he will be more confused. Sometimes guys really can't deal with the too much too soon routine. They need time to adjust to the thought of being so close or intimate. Their brains are wired totally different to a woman's generally. They sometimes need more time to become more involved and to give more. Take your time and do things you like away from him. If you are around him, be nice but try not to act overly interested. Don't let many folks know your business. this could create havic and cause the relationship to become stressed.
Give the young man time to realize just what he will be missing if he looses you. Chances are he already has in that he is acting like usual other than saying he doesn't feel the same about you. It may or may not mean that he will come back, although he may be considering it.
One thing you must consider is that he may have gotten involved too quickly and either wasn't ready or didn't want this type of committed relationship. He could be trying to bow out gracefully and making the attempt to save a friendship. Whatever happens YOU must let HIM decide and come to you. Keep yourself busy and don't worry over it. In due time he will either come back or walk away from the relationship either way you can say you have a lasting friendship and friends are important. You never know what door may be opened if one closes. You never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know why some people leave your life and some stay. In time you will have the answers. Be glad you will have a friend and in time who knows, the greatest realationships often started out as JUST FRIENDS.
Take things one day at the time. Just so you know I have gone thru this same thing. Our splits didn't last long and we wound up back together.He treated me just like we were still together for the most part although I wasn't with him. He would call me and always seek me out in a crowd. I am taking it one day at a time. This relationship has lasted almost 3 years and even though it is far from perfect we both know that there is definantly something there. If we broke up tomorrow I would hope that we would always be friends. For now... well he found the ICING was as good or even better than he could have found anywhere else. Believe me men do notice, even though they might not admit it openly. Take your time and let your heart feel silently, until he decides you are the one. He WILL let you know. 8-)
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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