A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My roommate wants to have a... sleepover of all things. We're both 20 so it feels kind of weird. It's a small apartment too and she wants to invite a whole bunch of people including guys! I'm not that comfortable around guys in the first place, having a "sleepover" with a bunch of them is even more frightening. She doesn't see anything wrong with it because she's so much more used to guys than me. I feel like such a prude! Every time I try to express how I don't do certain things, she gives a veiled remark that practically says I'm close-minded. I'm not though, I'm just not that comfortable with people as she is. What do I do? If the sleepover ends up happening, are there any options I have that could keep me out of the whole thing? Whole bunch of strangers! I don't know how to handle that many people at once for an entire night!
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male
reader, 14all +, writes (25 December 2008):
Seems to me the solution is to tell your roommate, outloud in words, what you just posted here, or print it out and give it to her. I think you'll find she is understanding and supportive if you tell her what's going on with you. Also, set up some ground rules - that your bedroom is off limits, so it's there if you need to retreat to it, that everyone must be clothed at all times in the common areas.
On one side, everyone wears PJs and watches silly movies eating popcorn until you all fall asleep is on one side, the guys wear thongs and girls wear hot lingerie and you all get drunk and it winds up being an orgy is another. You and your roommate need to discus where on the line betweenthe two the sleepover she is planning falls.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2008): Don't stay the night, stay till about eleven and enjoy yourself then go stay at a friend's? Alternatively tell her your not comfortable with the prospect.
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A
female
reader, scythe  +, writes (13 December 2008):
 If you have a lock on your bedroom door, I suggest you place everything valuble (sentimental or otherwise) from your apartment into your room, lock it, and perhaps sleep at your parents/friends place for the night? It seems very unfair that she has disregarded your opinion on the matter. Try and talk to her, explainig that you don't feel entirely comfortable with the idea. Reach a compromise, perhaps the boys can stay till 12pm then go home (may sound immature but then again, so is a sleepover?). If you both pay for the apartment equally then you should have equal say into what happens.
Hope this helps, and goodluck!
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