A
female
age
,
*orfolk-lady
writes:Hello. I need advice on my four month relationship that my Man 'out of the blue' put a stop to three weeks ago. We are both 55yrs old, both been on our own for some time but wanted a relationship again. We instantly clicked and felt right together,and blossomed how it should do we developed a great bond, but his job took him working away after three weeks on the floods around uk.We kept in almost daily touch by texts/calls, and he came home to see me 3 or 4 times up to two weeks for the week before Christmas. He warned me couple of times don't write anything heavy while he's away, I did slip now and then just a little, but it seemed ok. In December out of the blue he sent a text saying we met at the wrong time as he still has to work away for quite sometime. Yet with all the different floods in uk and its not been this bad for ages.., and if he was home he's be sure things between us would be no different, but he didn't want a relationship while he's away,its too much pressure for him. I did panic a bit and sent a few Why and please No texts then his phone went off for a couple of weeks,but is now on again but hasn't spoken to me yet. Do I keep quiet and understand his thoughts? And just hope he's not away too many more weeks ..or what. I had no reason to think all of everything between us was unreal.he was always so happy to see me,told me I was special to him,and said if we ever end up full time partners I would know all that's in his heart. So why would he totally stop talking to me while he's away..its left me confused and don't know what to think.any advice please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Firstly, are you sure he is free and that there is not a partner/girlfriend in the picture somewhere? It does seem he warned you he was backing off a bit. So you basically need to not be needy, don't text him, put the ball in his court and if you don't get further response or encouragement then you'll know what's what. Go by your instincts and let go if you suspect it's over.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (5 January 2013):
 Hi
Sorry to hear this, sadly I think he has gone for good.
He either wants to be single and free to meet other women while working away or he already has a wife or girlfriend.
You don't give nearly enough information about him,how you met,if you have been to his house,met his friends or family, so its hard to say whats really going on.
For now do not contact him,you have somehow found out his phone is either on or off, so pretend its off, delete his number and messages too.Don't chase him.
Then carry on looking for that man who will make you happy with no games.He's out there somewhere. x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (5 January 2013):
 Hmmm it sounds like a simple case of 'he's changed his mind about you'
Men tend to come on very hot and heavy at the start of a relationship and often regret their actions when the fire has cooled down a little.
There are a couple of red flags here. Him asking you not to send any heavy texts suggests he doesn't want someone else to see...a wife?...a girlfriend elsewhere?
If you have been to his home and stayed with him, it's easier to say for sure that there is nobody else on the scene. The whole working away thing could be an excuse, because if he was head over heels for you, he wouldn't worry where he was, or who knew about it.
I am sorry things have gone this way for you, four months can seem like a lifetime or no time at all. The fact that he hasn't contacted you, suggests he has gone and chasing him is probably a waste of time and energy.
If he does get in touch again, I'd seriously expect a good explaination for him dropping you so suddenly and b wary of getting involved again unless he shows serious commitment.
Ignore him back, don't be tempted to send any heartbreaking texts, because this makes women appear weak and vulnerable (and easily used)...assume you have heard the last of him and get on with life, because there isn't much else you can do.
Good luck and chin up!!
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