A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: My girl friend is 46 has a failed marriage and three children. Two very young. One children was conceived via a relationship only based on sex only, but she fell pregnant. Then a second child with this violent man because she wanted another child. Both dads are feckless and one is violent. The violent one even threatened me.I do love her dearly but all her troubles are giving me problems.I know we should split but i really love her but my respect for her is not high due to all her issues. Is she/we a lost cause?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Can I add on to this problem!. There are 2 children and then a marriage in between which resulted in no children plus another live in lover of 2 years. It does look like a complete nightmare I know but I have never thought of marriage before but I know she could/should be the one but as all of you have said the burden of all these issues may just become too much!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): She had two of her children with men she must have known would be hopeless dads from the outset, so that questions her judgement straight off. Some people have a pro-active and positive view of their life and issues and it can be worth being with them on that journey. But if that's not the case, you may sink under the strain and the relationship will have more minus points than plus points making it impossible.
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A
female
reader, Jeanette82 +, writes (5 January 2013):
Without respect, I dont see how your relationship is going to ever work.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (5 January 2013):
Someone with issues needs a lot of support and it takes a strong man to do that. If you love her maybe you can try and support her and stick by her, it isn't going to be easy and only you can make the decision to leave or not.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): If you have no respect for her then the relationship is a lost cause.
you can't love someone if you have no respect for them. what you feel for her isn't love it's pity or a more superficial type of attachment that comes from familiarity.
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