A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello EveryoneI have been dating my boyfriend for 2yrs now. Im ready to get married but hes not. he said he will know when hes ready. hE SAID WE MAY OR WE MAY NOT...Is he ever going to matty me or should I just let go and move on? I know I will never be happy if I am not married. bUT LETTING GO of him is alos hard because I wanna be with him.. I was thingking of staying for another year....please HELP.... THANK YOU SO MUCH!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
 If after two years he tells you he may never be ready you need to HEAR what he's saying...
it's my belief that a man knows after a year or less if he wants to spend his life with someone.
if you want/need to be married he's not your best bet.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Another year will only make this harder, you will feel worse in another year if he still doesn't want to marry you. Leave him now and see if he realizes what he is losing, if not then you won't have wasted another year of your life with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for responding to my question. I really appreciate it. I know that he is still hesitant about marriage, & i even read one of his email to his friend telling her that he is still "hesitant" about it.. I stayed in this relationship because in the beginning he seems serious about us getting married one of this days.. & lately hes undecided. I feel like staying for another year & just focusing on developing the relationship & if the talk of marriage doesnt come out by then & I still feel like being married & still he doesnt then I will move on. Some time I feel like he maybe waiting for someone better to come around...He even told me that he will not be pressured into marrying me.. it will be on his own perfect timing. & it doesnt help that I seem to have a time frame... thanks again everyone. God Bless you all
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Time to dump him and cut your losses. He's not worth waiting around for. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 If you were under 25 I would be saying... back off etc etcHowever, I am a firm believer that once you get past the age of 30, most people know what they want out of life. Many have been married and divorced already or have had LTR's which will have taught them the experience they need.I believe by the age of 30 he and you would know whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone after 12-24 months... in which case his non comittal is a red flag to me.I cant tell you what the future will hold, but as you said yourself you wont be happy staying in a relationship without marriage in the future. Does he know this? If not I think you need to explain to him that whilst you respect a "not yet" for setting the date, a "one day" attitude is much better than a "maybe".
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Sounds to me like he covered all bases ("...WE MAY OR WE MAY NOT..) so you've got yourself an expert, there, at not addressing your question....
I wouldn't spend another WEEK with such a guy.... BUT, it's YOUR decision....
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): You should break up with him ASAP. You know where you stand: you have a goal to be married. And he is stating where he stands, which is he is not sure. in my opinion, anything other than a "yes" is a "no."
however, an alternative is if you can re-think and reconsider your goal of getting married. Why not enjoy the relationship for what it is, rather than impose an artificial status on it? if you're living your life for the future not for the present, why not try it the other way and live for the present not for the future?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Sorry unfortunately my crystal ball is broke at the moment, so I can't tell you for certain. Come on, we can't look into the future.
Only YOU know thru his behavior towards you and the stability of your relationship if he will propose or not.
I suggest backing off of the subject. It's not going to make him put a ring on it any faster. Have patience.
On the other hand, you could have a mental timeline of when you'll wait (a year) then if he hasn't proposed by then it may be time to move on.
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