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He said we are on a break, what does that mean?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 September 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 29 September 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *blondie1826 writes:

Well my boyfriend came to talk to me last night and asked for a break. I wouldn't call it asked though cause I did not really have a choice, and I know why we are having this break. There are a lot of things in his life he needs to get together before giving me what I deserve he claims. Anyway my questions is what is a break? I asked him if it's the same as breaking up, he says no, but yet he says at the same time we can only be friends. He still claims to love me how does he expect me to be happy with this? I didn't even expect it, I knew he's been emotionally disconnected but I thought I was just being my old paranoid self. Well so you are not confused he's married with a 2 year old. Him and his wife do not get along they have been separated over a year, but his wife will not give him the papers and he cannot afford to get his own lawyer and everything. She's waiting till he has more money....But anyway, what is a break and what should I do? I really love him and want to be with him but at the same time I have really bad depression. I'm sure I should just give this a little time. Anyone been on a break, does it work out after. Is it ever the same again? Please I need any advice and would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks so much!

View related questions: a break, money

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A female reader, tblondie1826 United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

tblondie1826 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the advice, I decided to delete his number and consider it a break up. And if he wants to contact me he'll have to call me first. And when he wants me back he will have to work for it.

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A female reader, tblondie1826 United States +, writes (28 September 2010):

tblondie1826 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He does not live with his wife. His wife cheated on him 6 times when they were together and has a boyfriend now. She has the daughter. They haven't lived together in over a year. She left him he did not leave her...

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A female reader, Anairy11 United States +, writes (28 September 2010):

I believe that its over. You started going out with this person knowing that he was married with a child. And the same way he left his wife he left you. I'm sorry i may sound so harsh but its the truth. But always remember that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger :)

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 September 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntDoes he live with his wife? Is this a LEGAL separation? How much time have you wasted on this guy? Wanna buy a bridge?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (28 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntHis wife suspects he is cheating and he is covering his dirty little secret (YOU) up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2010):

Hi!

Miss I think this is a clear sign for you to stay away from him. The guy may indeed have feelings, however, he's right in making this call as he's maybe confused and wants to get himself in line for some things, and get his life together a bit. I respect this and shows maturity and in fact it shows he may care about you as he doesnt want you around as he's clearing up his life. He may be separated from his wife but that doesnt necessarily means he's gotten closure with his wife. People need closure to move on usually. It can certainly work out after but patience and integrity ( ie not getting involved with him emotionally as hes going thru stuff) are needed to stay intact here. Keep your distance but mildly stay in touch with him with a phone call once in a bit or email. Dont hound him. He needs space and time to gather himself and his life together. Best to you :)

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