A
female
age
30-35,
*han14
writes:My boyfriend made me upset today. Okay, he asked me if his "thang" is to small for me can we still do itand I said i will think about it and he said well if we can't we're breaking up. He said if we don't have sex then what is the point of kissing ect. Then he said he didn't mean it but it still hurts. What should I do?
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female
reader, Shan14 +, writes (24 July 2007):
Shan14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanx for your answers everyone, my boy friend said he only said that because I said sumthing that hurt him earlier but he does have split-personality so I don't know what's going on in his mind!!!?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Hi there, don´t let this boy pressure you into having sex. Young boys with raging hormones will say almost anything (usually hurtful things to us girlies) to have sex. Don´t be afraid to be assertive. Just make sure he respects your wishes not to have sex at this time. If he doesn´t give him the boot, cos there are lots of guys that will respect your wishes as you will find out in time. good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): hunni - any boy who says "have sex or we are finished" isnt worth your time anyway. You won't be doing it because you are ready or want to, you will be doing it to please his loin. Boys of your age have raging hormones and most of them are in their willy! Remember NO means NO and stick to your guns. You seem a sensible young lady and you know you wouldn't be doing this for you. There is nothing at all wrong with just kissing, so please please please don't be pressured into anything that would give you regrets. Your first time (when you are ready) shouldn't be because you have told to. I would be telling that boy - respect MY wishes or clear off!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Hey there. Unfortunately a lot of boys your age think about sex constantly and the thoughts of him wanting to have sex are stronger than thoughts of putting you first, that is just the way things often are when you are dating at your age.
Never have sex just to please a guy as having sex with your boyfriend will not make him want to stay with you any more. Having sex to keep a guy never works. It's always possible that he may want to have sex with other people once he's had sex with you. I'm not saying he will, I'm just saying that giving him sex will not keep him as your boyfriend.
If you don't want to have sex then stand up for yourself and make it clear you aren't ready. There is nothing wrong at all with just kissing, it doesn't mean you need to take things any further. Watch out that he doesn't keep upsetting you, if he does then it might be that having sex is more important that maybe you two aren't going to be right for each other.
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