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Why is he contacting me less than before? And am I being over anxious about the level of contact?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

please ANY advice would help....ok so ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year 5 months, but recently like 3-4 months ago he lost his phone so ive been pretty much the ONLY person hes talked to on a phone that he borrowed from his brother.

but now a couple of days ago he got a brand new phone so i feel like im LOSING him bc he only calls me like twice a day at most.

whenever i txt him he only calls back hours later. but i know its because during the times that i m not talking to him....hes talking to his best friend(theres really only 2 other ppl that he calls) but now i feel like im losing him to his guy friends.

for example yesterday i only talked to him for 13 minutes...he called me first at 4:30(we talked for 10min)

then he said he would call me back later(obviously because he wanted to talk to his friend ej)

then i sent him a txt at 5.(he txted back once then never texted back, then he FINALLY called me back at 8:20(i didnt answer so i called back like 20 min later) then we only talked for 3 min because he hung up.

i txted him back after that but he never txted back UNTIL 12:20. (by then i was asleep because i fell asleep crying) but i also got a missed called from him at 1:40am....(also another thing thats changed is whenever i used to not answer my phone he would call me back like 5 -8 times just for fun, but now he calls me back ONLY once)

so now please give me advice on why this is all happening or what should i do?? any advice would help! please!:(

View related questions: best friend, text

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (8 November 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntChill out. I think him calling you twice a day is perfectly acceptable. Anymore than that is just excessive and unnecessary.

It's also OK that he wants to call his friends..the point of having a phone is talking to multiple people on your contacts list, not just one. Guys aren't like girls when it comes to the phone. Even when they're talking to another guy. They don't gab on the phone gossiping or talking about their day. For them the conversation is short and to the point.

Also keep in mind that he may be busy with other activities to where he can't be on the phone 24-7.

How often do you guys spend time together? Personally, I would take time spent together than talking over the phone daily.

So how about you answer his phone when he calls back..or if you missed it call him back. There's no need to play games. Talk to him and ask him what exactly is his deal when it comes to talking on the phone. If he's not a phone person, then unfortunately you're just going to have to accept that. Perhaps stick with texting.

To sum it up, cut your boyfriend some slack because guys just don't talk on the phone on a regular basis. Be happy that he does call you twice daily.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011):

Anytime one person's habits and behavior change in a relationship it is a very unnerving thing.

I have absolutely no clue why he is behaving like this. I suppose you could talk to him and ask him about it. But if communication is not that strong between you both then you could just give him space, in other words let him call you sporadically, let him be how he is being at the moment and not worry too much about it and let him bounce back on his own time. Cause he could just be going through a period, maybe stress. Men are like that. They tend to retreat when they are going through stuff.

I think that's what you should do. Just let him be and don't worry too much at the moment. Give him a week max to come around. If after a week, however, his behavior has not improved then and only then I would take it as a sign and a red flag. But as of now just chill out and give him his space. I am sure it's nothing.

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