A
female
age
30-35,
*uizic
writes:Alright I'm having the hardest time trying to figure out what's going on in my head here. I was with my ex boyfriend for a little over two years and I felt like he was the man I wanted to marry with no doubts. Our personalities, mannerisms and habits all went so well with each other and he was my life and he claims I was his. Then of course came his drinking which is what ended up breaking us up. I hated his drinking because his temper would get out of control and he'd yell and say all kinds of crazy things. He had no job, no car, no liscense, no education and still lived with his mom (he's going on 24 now) So I left.Not too long ago I had a relationship for about 10 days or so and everything about this man just seemed to annoy me and all I could think was "he's nothing like my ex... my ex wouldn't do this..." etc. etc. Even when we had sex all I thought about was making love with my ex and how much I missed it. There was nothing wrong with him, we'd been friends for a while and he was nice and all that, but just simply wasn't my ex. I left him after that and then started talking to my ex a little bit after that. Just small talk here and there.Alright! Questions: Am I setting myself up for another fall? I really just want to talk to him again since we were such good friends and I do miss him every day. Are the memories I have of my ex going to sabotage all my relationships? Should I have even started talking to him again? He's got a car and a GED now.. but I'm not sure if he's really trying. My friend says she saw him buying a box of hard liquor the other day. I can't narrow this down to one question I'm sorry but I'm no psychiatrist and I'm not sure what to think. My head's telling me 500 different things. All I know is I really do miss him, I just wish things would have worked out better before...My friends all tell me going back would be stupid, he doesn't deserve me, and to think about all the things he said. I think about all those things but it doesn't change the fact that I miss him more than anything even though some things he said were very uncalled for, but if I do decide to move on how can I keep memories from getting to me in the next relationship. And how do I even go about getting over him!?
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female
reader, Quizic +, writes (11 March 2010):
Quizic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI talked to him MANY times about toning down his drinking while we were together and though he promised he would, he'd just slow down for a little while then it'd all come back and he'd have cans littering his floor by the end of the night and the hard liquor was the worst to deal with. I can't outright ask him about his drinking habbits, he's very touchy about the subject. I mentioned AA meetings to him once and he about blew a gasket.
A
male
reader, duke57 +, writes (10 March 2010):
Well how does he feel about you? If he wants to get back with you, then this time you can set the conditions. Try talking to him about his drinking habbits. If he can't agree to tone it down then yes you are setting yourself up for another fail. If he's truly changed than he'll accept your conditions and in that case you should get back with him since it's obvious you still care for him deeply.
It's for your sentences like "my ex wouldn't do this..." that i'm inclined to say you should try to work it out with him. It sounds like apart from the drinking he's worth it.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 He yelled and said crazy things to you. He sounds like a potential abuser to me. Stay the hell away from him.
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