A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years.. we met when i was 18 and he was 25.. everything moved very quickly.. we had sex on our second date and moved in together 1 1/2 months into the relationship..at the moment i am going on 21 and he is going on 28.. we work together, live together, go to the gym together and are always together.. i enjoy it and have no problems but i sometimes feel he needs space but i am very insecure about letting him go out alone with his friends because i know how they are( he has a couple of times but it is not in our every month routine) another thing about my insecurities is that he has been going to the gym realy hard to look good for our summer vacation and i dont look as good as i used to(im trying but have not yet gotten there). he always tells me that he loves me no matter what and has always been there for me.he has never cheated on me, he has never disrespected me, never caught him talking to another girl ect.. but i have caught him looking for his ex online on myspace a couple of times when we were about 8-12 months into the relationship.. i know that she ment alot to him and even though i know he wont go back with her i feel like he doesnt love me as much as he loved her... i am very insecure about the way he feels for me and i think it has to do with our sexual lifestyle... he wont do certain things to me (he says he doesnt like and i respect that but shouldnt he do things to make me happy even if he doesnt like it) and for the past couple of months that he has been going to the gym our intemacy has come to only 3-4 time a month.. i understand that he is tired and so am i.. but he still gives me that urge to just rip his shirt.. he doesnt act like that with me..I have spoken to him a couple of times about the way i feel and he says that that is just the way he is... which i do not understand becuase it wasnot like that before... i have told him not to take me for granted and appriciate me more.. his answer is "im preparing myself mentally for the day you leave me" i have told him that why prepare for me leaving and not trying to make me happy and anythinga nd everything to make sure we stay together.. im want to not be so insecure... he is good to me and treats me right (98%) of the time..lol is it me??? what do you think??
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cheated on me, his ex, insecure, moved in, myspace, needs space Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Guitarist  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 sorry for the late reply. all i can say to that is follow your heart. just because he was searching for his ex doesnt mean hes going to leave you for her. yes he might still love her. what people forget is that when people love someone and break up, that love will never fully go, it cant be turned on and off like a light switch.
i still love my ex from 2 years ago but i've still moved on and had some good times and even found love again but i still find myself looking for my ex online. more out of curiosity than anything. i like to see how shes doing etc. but i'd never ever get back with her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he is not really by bf its more like my fiance.. he asked me about 2 months ago to marry him but there was no ring.. if he still is in love with his ex y would he ask me to marry him???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): If he is searching for his ex - he is still in love with her. From the way he treats you, you will eventually lose confidence in yourself. Be direct and tell him what you want but be prepared that he might not give you what you want - thats your cue to move on. Goodluck and just remember you deserve better.
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A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (2 April 2009):
Well its not you ok.
i'm just going by my own experience here. but i'm really insecure and an ex of mine tried really hard to ease my mind. she did eventually get through before leaving me. truth is its hard to get over these things and all you can really do now is prove that you mean what you say, which can only take time.
sorry i couldn't be more help.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPONSE...
I HAVE ASSURED HIM THAT HE IS NOT GOING TO GET RID OF ME THAT EASY LOL!!! I DO UNDERSTAND THAT HE HAS GOTTEN HIS HEART BROKEN BEFORE AND FEELS THAT I WILL DO THE SAME BUT IM ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM, NO MATTER WHAT!! AND I ALWAYS TELL HIM BUT IT DOES NOT SEEM TO HELP..
IM I THE INSECURE ONE OR IS HE??
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A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (2 April 2009):
erm...i'm not entirely sure what your question is...
not too sure whats goin on with you two either. it does sound like he's insecure as well, and like me, girls have broken his heart on more than 1 occasion and always through unforeseen circumstances. just try to reassure him that you wont leave him, no matter what happens. and mean it. hopefully he should open up more.
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