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age
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writes: Hello,Im a 15 year old girl and iv'e been going with with a 22yr old male on the internet for about 2yrs this year.We love eachother so much, I live in australia, he lives in canada.He's told his mum,sister,nieces and nephews about me, I want to tell my parents about him but im scared.my parents arn't very understanding about internet dating,my mum doesn't have a problem with age difference, dunno if my dad does, but I dont know if they'd understand.This guy and myself really really love eachother, he says he'd never rape me or hurt me in anyway, I believe him!We want to be together and I want to move over with him when im 18.What I want to know is, how can I tell my parents that I love a guy from the internet??Please Help me!!I love him so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Your trying to justify doing something you feel is wrong with something else that is wrong. If it's consensual, you can't make others believe he pushed you into it.
Having sex is your choice, and consequences that may follow are related to you choice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionheyy people!!
Good News,, i dumped the 22yr old,, cause i finally relised what a stupid thing i was doing, it wasn't really love, it was fake,, some fantasy phase i was going through!
Anywayy
I need some more advice!
im still 15 and now dating a 14yr old, he wants sex with me and all this but my parents are strict.
would it be wrong to have sex with him, considering im a year older then him & could i go to jail for it?
or would they believe that he pushed me into it??
Please reply back!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Hey, Vendetta.You might wish to look up the definition of paedophile.Look. You are young. Your opinions on him and many things in the life are going to change drastically like mood ring.Believe me, I know. I loved a girl like you I met online many years ago at his age. I would have cut of my hands before I did anything that harm her or the bonds between her and her family.I hardly talk to her now. She found another bloke. Younger than I. And my guess is, far less mature. But you know what I did?I stepped back and let her be happy. I didn't complain. Told her that I cared about her and if that was what made her happy, then who was I to stop her?My only regret was allowing myself to develop feelings for someone so young. I was naive to think it would last.Some times it does. I'm not saying it won't.But you shouldn't yet be pining over a man in another Country, no matter how you feel.You should be out with friends chasing boys of your own level, or closer to.If you were 20 and he 27... it would not even be an issue, because you would both be pretty much on the same mental level forevermore after that.If you two trully love each other, you'll know you have to cool down and stay away from chatting for a while.If you reach the age when you can go for him without any form of law being broken and both of you still feel the same, then by all means be happy.Flynn 24
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female
reader, SpeedyCakey  +, writes (6 October 2008):
 First off... I know it's uncomfortable to tell your parents, but people on the Internet will lie if they say they won't rape you or the sort. Even if it's been 2 years, he could be lying for all you know. I'm sorry if I'm insulting you or your boyfriend, but it's not safe if you don't know him in person.
A good way to tell your parents would be to talk to them sometime when they're not distracted. Tell them how you feel about him. If they disagree, don't be offended, because they just want the best for you.
You've seen him on webcam, and he seems nice in your opinion. You can't trust anyone on the Internet.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOF CAURSE I AHVEN'T MET HIM IN PERSON, ONLY ON WEBCAM, I TOLD YOU IM WAITING FOR HIM IN AUS!!!
sorry about the caps!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): yeah,
Im waiting till im 18 to move over there.
He's trying to come over this year and meet my parents and tell them about us and all.
my mum as I said doesn't have a problem if age difference.
He has a Job, has a house, his sister and her kids and his mum live with him.
Iv'e seen with on webcam and he's seen me, we haven't spoken on the phone cause I think my parents would kill me.
I know that internet relationships can be hard, as different countries, im not stupid, I know about pheodophiles and men and all, I just really love this guy.
I wish everyone could just see that, he doesn't have a criminal record and I beleive every single thing he says!!
Im keeping in mind that he could be a pheodophile but im his first girlfriend online, so I dont think he could be!
anyway, reply back.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (5 October 2008):
One question for you, and I want you to spend time thinking about this. If there is trust in a relationship, why would he have to comment what he would not do? It's like saying, "stand in front of my car, I promise I won't run you over." Treat this with a great level of caution. As a certified behavior analyst, I spend hours tracking what causes different actions that lead up to negative or positive behaviors. His comment is one which may have a hidden agenda.
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female
reader, teen000 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Okay you realy cant do that nomatter how tempting it may seem...
First of all you cant trust this guy honey, i know its not wat u want to here but you realy cant...There r very few people in this world that u can trust,i learned that the hard way..
at our age we r stil so young, its the time to have fun and specialy to concentrate on our studies...Hes 22, do u have any idea about everything that goes through a22 year old man's head ( sorry guys )
Ur like wat? 15?? u should be out with ur friends, flirting with hot guys, having silly crushes and relationships with guys ur age, a little older but like not 22, just having fun basicly...
Specialy trusting this guy?? talk to ur parents.
Just get them to sit down, tell them there is something you've realy wanting to talk to them about..You want there help,advice nd support. they will apreciate u talking to them.
Most of us teenagers go through such a hard time because we try to do it all on our own. Which is almost impossible
Hear wat they have to say about all this...think well and hard....This is ur whole life we r talking about now and you only live once... 3 take care...keep me updated nd best of luck
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male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (5 October 2008):
 22.. and you're 15..What he is doing is known as Grooming. In Canada it is illegal for a 22 year old to date a 15 year old. He is a Paedophile.Putting that aside, have you looked at the logisitics? The legal implications?For you to just "up and move" isn't going to be so easy. Canada has pretty strict rules about who they let in. Your Options are greatly limited. Either Study out there for 3 years or more and hope that you can obtain a landed immigrants status, then you can apply for permanent residency (which is not guaranteed) or flat out immigration, which means you have to fill out a butt load of forms. Have over $10,000 in savings to support yourself and a $1000 fee for processing, which takes about 10-18 months and they can still say no at the end of it which would result in you losing the $1000 fee.Applying for a job.. same problem.Marriage.. still isn't a perfect option anyway. You have to show Proof of the relationship, hand written letters to each other, phone bills of the ammount of times you've spoken, plane tickets showing that you've "visited" each other, the list goes on. I know all this because I've done it and been through it. As for him moving to you.. hell Oz is even hard to get into too.And they don't much care for paedophiles out there!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2008): My cousin dated his girlfriend online for about a year before he finally met his girlfriend. When he finally met her, it was with her parents. He visited her once a month on a weekend, for about 6 months, then he moved there. They now have an apartment together. They have now been together for about 3 years.
Have the two of you spoke on the phone yet? Have you passed pictures? The one thing about dating someone for so long on the internet and over the phone is that you have not met in person. There is no problem with having a relationship online, I just think you should plan to have him meet you around 18 years old, but with your parents. The only reason why I say this is that you have never met him. No matter how long you have known him. It would really suck if you met him one day, moved to where he is and find out that things were not what you expected at all.
I talked to a guy through a dating service, and decided to move there with him, without even knowing him from Adam. I ended up finding out that lived over a horse barn. The place had no heat, and he ended up being a drug addict. On top of all that, after getting to know him I grew to love him. But soon after, I found out I was pregnant. The only thing he could tell me is that I should take a pill and bleed for three weeks. Another words, he wanted me to take a pill that gave me a voluntary abortion. When I refused, he told me that he would carve the baby out of me with a knife.
So, please don't just move there with out meeting and getting to know him in person. Make sure that there are people there for the first few months or so. You never know if anyone is lying or even a serial killer! You don't want to be here today gone tommorrow. You know what I mean?
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