A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi I just started dating some one! He called me last night said he wanted to seeme before leaving town. His daughter called him and wanted him to come and see her before he left town. He ask me if he could come over when he got back from his daughterhouse said it should be about 9:30pm. Well I gave up at 11:00pm and went to bed. He called shortly after that but I didn't answer the phone. He left an apology for being late. I never responded until he text the next day with an apology. He went out of state to attend a family funeral. Was this the right thing to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much it just helps to get someone else veiw points. So far he is towing the line. Will keep you informed on the progress.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I think you did the right thing. I'm sorry he had a funeral to attend, but.... he could have called you WAY before 11pm to let you know he would be running late and given you a chance to cancel or confirm.
If he has a grown daughter, he can't be that young and not know that 11 pm calls or "visits" is not kosher.
As long as you don't hold it over his head for days, ignoring this one call is not bad. It can be a good way to start a converstaion about when to not call/visit after..
With that said. I think it was good he still called, he could easily have "forgotten" to call you.
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A
female
reader, CuddlyLovely  +, writes (28 October 2011):
Errrrnnn..I would say you shouldn't do that. He is going through a difficult time - the funeral and everything. I am sure his daughter is also having hard feelings. He seems to be a responsible man by calling afterwards at 11PM and again the morning after. It is not the time to play mind games. Do that when things are calm.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Yes, you did do the right thing and you've set a precedent. Without any fuss or drama you've informed this man that 11:00pm is too late to come over, that you won't wait around for him and that your time is valuable. Well done!I have to agree with the others in that it might be a bit soon to entertain him in your home. Sorry to hear there was a loss in the family, but he could have taken two minutes to let you know what was going on.
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A
female
reader, Juliet  +, writes (28 October 2011):
I agree with Denise32. Good answer.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Agreed, he should have let you know why he was running late, but beyond that, this is a man you have only just started dating - not a good idea to have him coming over to your home late at night!Why don't you take things a little slowly and get to know each other and see if you really are compatible first?
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Hi, The guy may have any number of plausible excuses for his no show, but his big mistake was not texting or phoning when he knew it getting to 9.30 when he knew he was going to be a no show. Would you do that to a friend? It's bad manners. That's the thing that would pig me off if i was you. I'm not impressed! xx
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Well you never really gave him a chance to explain why he was so late. Obviously his daughter means a lot to him and he may have lost track of time, If it where me personally I would have asked him what had happened instead of ignoring him, I know that he should not have made plans with you and then not contact you to tell you he was running late. If you are wanting to make up with him well then tell him how it made you feel and tell him that in the future if he is going to be late at least let you know so that you are not waiting around for him and being left disappointed.
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