A
female
age
41-50,
*esperate_angel
writes:dear cupid,i was just recently broken hearted by a guy 13 years older than me which i found out later that he's married and with 3 kids. he lied to me, he keeps on telling me that he's divorsed and no kids. i respect him so much and care for a lot. i just cant accept the fact that he become disrespectful to me (and so to his wife). i really wanted to tell her wife about this but my mom and close friends are giving me an advice not to so that his family would get hurt. am i being fair?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Big hugs honey, I know this is painfull. Please remember you have done nothing wrong. It's not your fault that you fell in love with a liar and a cheat. It's not your fault that he's married. He's the wrong man, you will get strong again, you will move on from this, and you will meet somebody else. All these things I can promise you, but it will take a long time. When we've been hurt, when we've been decieved, we become broken inside and get very sad. This is normal, there is no way to avoid the pain of heartache. This is Dear Cupid, a place for relationship advice. We've been in your situation, we've lost somebody we loved too, we've all been hurt, some of us have been lied to and decieved. Whatever your feeling is normal, your in pain, it's normal to feel sad and unhappy.
I felt sad too, that's how come I ended up here, giving out advice and trying to distract myself from crying because my loved one left. This has helped me. I don't know what will help you. Friends and family are good, they know your hurting, they hurt for you, they have been hurt by love too, so they understand. Spend some time with them. Find new hobbies, get new intrests, try doing something you've always wanted to do, pick up painting, learn a foreign language, do voluntary work, help out somebody who needs a friend. Do anything, but keep yourself busy and try to forget this man. Here are some links, they provide some good advice about how to heal your heart and get strong again. Everything your feeling is normal, I know it hurts, but I promise it will get better in time and one day you'll be able to move on with your life. Big, big, hugs.. I'm sorry he hurt you, but one day you will recieve all the happiness you deserve. Put a smile on your face, you've found some new friends, I see that you've started helping other people with their problems, and they are blessing you and thanking you for being kind.... Blessings
http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-Out-of-Love
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (6 August 2008):
desperate_angel is verified as being by the original poster of the question hello to all, please give me an advice about my recent situation. how could i forget him?give me some steps to move on im still hurt right now. I know its wrong to still fall in love to a married man (which i only found out recently thats hes married) im planning to go back to my country just to avoid him and forget.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 What an awfull man. His actions are discusting and he deserves nobody's respect or love. Although if it were me I would be so tempted to tell his wife like Big Sis say's. I wonder will you feel better for doing this. Its true that the woman always gets the blame, and she will no doubt believe him over you, because she wont want her family life upset. Its a very hard call, and I think that you have to do what your heart tells you.
Beware of all that will be thrown at you if you do decide to tell her though, because it will be your name that will be mud and not his, like he desrves.
Take care sweetie and I hope you find happiness in the future. XXX
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A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (6 August 2008):
desperate_angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionas of now im learning to move on. yes it really hurts me so bad about what had happened. I just hope things will get better sooner and i will finally go on with my life. thank you to all who help me with these matter. god always forgive and so do i. god bless to all
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A
female
reader, desperate_angel +, writes (6 August 2008):
desperate_angel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone! thank you to all the wonderful peopleon who answered me, and gave me a pieces of advice for enlightenment. Although im so emotionally hurt by now and trying to move on, i always listen to what my heart dictates on me. I forgive him but of course i will not forget what he did to me. Yes, your right, its better to leave things and let god do the actions. Everybody commits mistake. Now i learned my lesson...but im afraid to trust again other guys in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): I'll jump in if you don't mind Bigsis,
Hi Angel, it so unfair that this wicked man have treated you and his wife this way. It's so unfair for you, you are at an age where you probably wanted to build a life with this man. He deserves no respect, he lies to women, he shames them, and he even denies his own children and hides them away. What kind of man deserves respect when he acts like this. You must feel sorry for his wife, she has had to live with this man for years, I can only imagine how many time he has lied to her and hurt her.
You have had a lucky escape. Who knows how many tears you might have cried if you continued seeing this man. I agree with you family and close friends. You will achieve nothing by telling his wife what he has done. All you will do is cause more pain and hurt, and who knows. She might blame you instead of him. You believed his lies, why shouldn't she. Please leave his family alone. Go on with your life, and find your happiness with somebody better than this. Find a man who deserves the love and respect that you have to give. This man is not him, this man is not worthy of you. I am glad he is gone, at least he will never get the chance to hurt you again. Blessings.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Oh dear me. Angel, I'm sorry, so far you have two completely different pieces of advice. Let's wait and see what the other aunts and uncles will say regarding this issue, then it's up to you to take whatever advice we've offered you. On the other hand you can just do what you feel deep in your heart ~ that which needs to be done.Take your time in deciding, just don't act too quick on this ~ as it's a very delicate subject. The advice I gave earlier is what 'I' would have done, had it been me in your position.BigSisxXx
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (5 August 2008):
You're hurt, Angel, and quite rightly so! What about what's fair for you? Your mum and friends are not the one's that are hurt by his betrayal. You are in your 30's, you are your own woman and therefore you should do what you feel is right, and his wife, in my opinion needs to know the truth.He's a liar and a cheat and he deserves to be found out. Tell his wife, write to her, let her know what kind of a man she's married to. You can start to rebuild your life and eventually you'll find someone who'll be 100% yours. I know it may leave you very dubious about trusting another man again, but I promise you, you will find someone else. Just try and erase him from your life, it will be hard I know, but it must be done. People like him usually end up alone, and you deserve to be happy.Best of luck and take care.BigSisxXx
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