A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. He said that he has a lot to deal with right now and that he's in a stressed/depressed mood and will be for a couple weeks. He doesn't want to drag me along with his problems and stress, because that won't be good for either of us. So instead of saying he'll be around but not be, he'd rather "step back" from us. I'm not even sure what that means..break up, just a break, what? He also said that he wants a relationship with me even if it's just as friends. The day after he told me all this, I texted him for some kind of closure but I didn't get it. I told him that I hated how he was pushing me away and how I didn't understand how anyone could go from loving/missing someone one day to ending it the next. He said that he does love me but again, it's not good for us to drag me along waiting for nothing. I sent him a very long message (about 10 texts long) and never even heard anything back. I haven't heard anything from him since. I don't know what to do. We were long distance and a week from now, we were supposed to spend a few days together and I don't understand why he'd do this right after we saw each other or before we were going to. I don't know if I should hang on in hopes that in a couple weeks, when he's not as depressed/stressed, he'll finally contact me? Or if I should just let it go. I really love him and I haven't done anything since but mope around thinking about how much this hurts, etc.
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a break, broke up, depressed, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Never never never have this kind of conversation via text.
What he's doing is a cop out in my book. It could mean that he needs a couple of weeks to deal with a whole bunch of shit that just piled on, but at the same time, since you're in an LDR, he doesn't really have to worry about seeing you so what he's doing is unnecessary. My take is that he's sorting things out and wants to break up, but is too chicken to do it officially or has other reasons to not want to break up over the phone or via text/email. His comment about wanting to "remain friends no matter what" is a sign that he's looking at the end of your relationship. Guys don't usually talk like that unless they feel the relationship is heading that direction.
I hope you get the answers you're seeking.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Everything he's telling you might be true so I wouldn't keep texting and calling him. Let him "take a break" and sort things out. When he's ready to talk to you again he will.
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