A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunt i have a problem with my current boyfriend. We started dating 1 month ago. Everything was a sea of roses in the begining however one day he told me we had to talk and he told me about recent problems that had all showed up at the same time including his grandma health problem that led to her admission in a hospital where she is now under observation and problems with his best friend and then he dropped the bomb that his ex with whom he had had a relationship for 3 years and had broken up 2 years ago went up to him totally desperate saying she still loved him and wanted to get back together despite the fact that he had cheated on her. Then he told me he needed space because he was confused with all these problems. Inspite all this he keeps texting me asking me if i am alright. What should i do? I love him but this situation is affecting me and i don't want our relationship to end.Thank you for listening to me i am looking forward to your advice.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 August 2013):
 " Everything was a sea if roses in the beginning " ? Op, you have been dating ONE month, one month IS the beginning !, so what you are actually saying is that things were looking good- of course- at the very beginning of the beginning, like what, 1 week, 10 days ?...-then pretty soon everything started going south and a lot of pointless drama has beern stirred up. Actually, the drama has a point, it's to make you understand " hey it's not you it's me, O like you so much, just, with all the problems ... "... problerms, what problems ?1 That's LIFE, loved ones who get sick, friends you have misunderstanding with, etc.etec. If you have someone you care about beside you, this person won't be a complication ut in fact a big help and support in dealing with what you've got to deal.
Add to the mix the resurfacing of the ex - which, if he liked you, would not be a problem at all, he would simply tell her she needs to go take a hike - and, alas, what all the problems and turmoil are about is simply that the guy changed his mind, or was not that convinced to begin with ( boys his age can be very finicky, love you the first day and hate you the second ) and now he's tryng to inch away cowardly from the relationship without taking any responsibility for his aboutface and wishywashiness.
" The grandmother, the crazy ex... my dog ate my homework ... " Yeah right.
I know you say you don't want to leave him, but honestly it's your best bet. Unless you think is going to be fun letting him string you along for a while, - until, the day he will be short of excuses for his neglect and lack of interest, he will have to pull the rug from under your feet all of a sudden- and you risk to get hurt falling flat on your bottom, much more than if you say " enough " now yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2013): As teen relationships go, they are always on shaky ground and end as quickly as they can start.
If your bf is the same age 16-17; exactly how strong can a relationship be between two kids of 13-14 be? He brings up some ex like they had some serious grown-up relationship.
He's using the grandmother and the friend problem as an excuse to slide away from you without any drama. He knows you're all gaga over him, and he needs a clean getaway. That how sneaky boys can be.
The fact his ex-girlfriend came around, is what he needs space for.
You totally picked up on that when you said he dropped the bomb. You know that is what its all about. She may not even really want him, she knows there's a new girl. If he cared strongly for you, she wouldn't matter. You should be around to support him while his grandmother is sick, and to lean on while having problems with his buddy. She shouldn't even be in the picture at all.
I think you should give him the space. Let him know that you will not be able to wait for him. You have to consider your own heart and you will not let him break it.
Get closer to your other friends. You can do whatever you want to fight the sadness and start getting over him. You don't have to let him drag you down with all of this. You're too young, and should be having fun. Not dealing with boyfriend-drama at 16.
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