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Where do I stand with her and where do I go from here?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 August 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2013)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Well I posted another question below

"She wants space, how should I approach this?" if you want to read that for more info.

So I've been keeping to myself and working on self improvement. She requested space so I've given it to her, I had sent her an email apologizing and telling her that I was going to work on my issues. I got this email from my girlfriend this morning.

"You shouldn't have to change who you are for anyone. I think you are great just the way that you are. I have really be thinking about everything and I have decided that I just want to take some time for me. I am sorry to hurt you. You are really great and we have had really great times. I just need to concentrate on school and the kids right now. Please understand. Go on your trip and when you get back, we can talk."

I'm leaving on a 3 1/2 month deployment and she is starting college full time. She gets REALLY overwhelmed with stressful situations. Anyway, I replied,

"Okay sweetheart,

I agree and I think that you are right on this one. I need to focus on some things in my life and you have plenty of things to focus on in yours. I'm going to be working on making myself into a better man."

Where do you think I stand with her and where can I go from here? I'm not angry and I understand her problems. I DO want her back because I feel that she is worth it. I'm being respectively of her request for space, not contacting her and am not doing any pleading or begging.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2013):

Honeypie is absolutely correct. It is a let down.

She has ended the relationship, and it's time for you to begin the process of letting go. You must now focus on your mission, and let her get on with her life. She has made the decision, and she let you down as easily as she can.

She was right, that you shouldn't change for her. You should change for yourself, and being a better man will prepare you for the person who is right for you. She isn't.

That doesn't mean you aren't worthy, or there wasn't any love there. The relationship has run its full course; and she doesn't want to be in it with you any longer.

I wrote some articles. Some may find them lengthy; but I want to be sure that I cover a broad spectrum of emotions and relate to more people.

Everyone experiences the grief of loss; if someone decides to leave us. We may face the pain in varying degrees, or in different ways. However; the emotions are not that different.

If you get a chance, I hope you'll read the latest; and maybe it will give you some comfort and a better understanding.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 August 2013):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, her e-mail sounds like a nice "let down" instead of saying we are over directly.

Sounds to me like she doesn't want a relationship right now, that it's too much to handle for her.

So with that in mind I think I would back off 100%.

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