A
female
age
36-40,
*adblueeyedangel
writes:My problem that i would like help with is my ex. I fell in love with my ex in a very short time too short. Things moved way to fast for both of us. He asked me what i wanted to do and i said lets go with it and see where it leads. He then got scared he left for 3 days and barely even talked to me through text. I convinced him not to break up with me. He came over a couple days later and we got into a fight and i broke up with him. He said he is scared and he wasnt ready to be in a relationship. So now we are basically friends with benefits. This is breaking my heart an i dont want to loose him. I dont want to be with out him. I also dont think feeling this miserable when he isnt around and i think he is with someone else is really healthy for me. I let him in. He said he loved me first and now he is running. We both have a bad string of relationships. I dont know what to do. Can you please give me some advice that makes sense to me?
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female
reader, sadblueeyedangel +, writes (3 December 2010):
sadblueeyedangel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys soo much for you opinion. Everythin i have researched has told me to just let go but i dont know how. Life was easier before all of this. Your opionions are greatly appreciated.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 December 2010):
 Why carry on being friends with benefits at all? It almost seems as though he is using you and making up excuses so he can have sex with you and carry on being with other women.
Do not let him break your heart. Move on and just stop talking to him, stop thinking about him. Whenever your mind floods with thoughts of him, remember why you are miserable and just distract yourself.
I might be mistaken and he might have actually felt something genuine but nevertheless, it just is not working out and you need to move on. Stop being friends with benefits and perhaps even cease being friends, at least for now. You need to ensure you have found some peace of mind.
I suppose you could just talk to him and discuss starting over, just as friends at first, go slowly this time. If you really did feel something real for each other, there is no reason why this should not work but unfortunately, to me it seems that his words may have been hollow all along. Only you know though, I can only guess. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): You have the worst of both worlds here - you are not together, so you settle for second best. Its unlikely now you've become a 'friend with benefits' you will get back to being exclusive with him. Do yourself a favour and end this so you can, yes, be miserable for a while, but ultimately get over him. It really is as simple as that sadly.
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