A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok well... I'm prepared and prewarning that some of you may find this problem totally lame and childish but I'm gonna go ahead and ask anyway lol. Basically I met my crush about a year ago at work but where I work means I hardly ever see him. I'm quite a shy and quiet person around those I don't know so I've never fully had a chance to talk to him properly as myself even though he seemed interested in me. I got a really really strong impression that he liked me but recently he's a lil reluctant to say hi but I don't think its because he dislikes me but because I act so awkward around him, but then he did make an effort to say bye to me the last time I saw him. So I done some investigative research (stalking) and found out his full name which led to his facebook. I'm not usually one to add everyone and their mother on fb and prefer to get to know people in real life but since I never see him and want to get to know him better I felt this was my only option. So I added him...and he rejected! Now a few things I must mention; I think he misheard my name so seeing my name on fb WOULDN'T have rung a bell, he wears glasses and because of the horrendous work uniform I look quite different outside of work (still recognisable to most though) and now I wanna send him a lil (lighthearted) message just saying remember me? Or something like that because I thought we were at least friends. He has over 600 friends so to reject me is a lil harsh. So... Should I send the message or is it desperate? What if he knew it was me and deliberately rejected? That might make things even more awkward between us :s I understand that this isn't such an important prob but I do like him and just want an opinion please x
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female
reader, MilkPudding  +, writes (29 May 2011):
Hi, I think you should ask him at work. You must try to overcome your shyness. A good friend , Jia, used to be like this, but I eventually talked her out of it. You could say,"Oh, hi, nice to meet you, let's be friends on FBK" and that kind of thing, that's what I always do to people. Previously, it was for the school elections, but I eventually became good friends with almost all of them!:) Try it! Good Luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): thanks for the advice, I've asked a few friends and the general answer is to leave it so I think that's what I'm gonna do :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): I think you should leave this one alone. Do NOT send any more messages or try to contact him again.
Any way you look at this sending him another message is not a good idea. If he declined your invitation by mistake asking him about it makes you look desperate. If he did it on purpose then asking him why is pushy and rude. Rejecting someone once is awkward enough. Don't corner him into having to do it again. He is not obligated to explain why he adds or rejects people.
If you see him again in person, be courteous and formal.
It may be that he declined your request by mistake. An opportunity to confirm this might present itself in the future. Don't ruin that chance by rushing things now.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (27 May 2011):
Well before you do anything think about if it was more than likely he misheard your name AND didn't recognise you on Facebook. To me it sounds unlikely but I don't know how/why he might of misheard your name or what you have to wear for work. If you think it's probable, you might as well just send him one very quick light hearted message as you don't really have much to lose, if he doesn't reply at all obviously leave it after that. Don't send him one saying 'I thought we were at least friends' as that does come across as accusatory, could put him off adding you and make things awkward at work (whereas one light hearted message shouldn't for most people).If you think it's fairly unlikely then that combined with the fact he's reluctant to say hi and has 600+ friends (I doubt he knows them all) I'd say it's best to just forget it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): Hi. Are you sure he doesn't already have a girlfriend, or isn't married ?. I think you should send him a message, asking if he remembers you. I think you should have sent a message to him at the same time you sent the friend request, to ask if he remembered you, and that you should have also said you hoped he didn't mind you sending the request. When i add people i hardly know, i send a message like taht to the, along with a friend request, and they usually add me. You could tell him that you hope you didn't do anything wrong in sending the friend request, or maybe even ask him why he rejected it. I hope this helps, and please let us know how you get on.
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