A
female
age
30-35,
*mpmysilence
writes:See the question? Yeah, why do guys do this? It's not only irritating but disrespectful. I asked a guy out at the end of September that i had been crushing on for the whole summer. (he's 29 i'm 21). I was proud of myself that I was so straight forward with him. I asked him on a date and he explained he didn't have time. So, I straight up told him I really liked him. Apparently he already figured it out. I asked him how he felt about me and he said "well... we're... friends..." UGH! it was like pulling teeth to get him to say it! I asked if we were JUST friends and he said yes. Well, a month goes by and I hadn't seen him because he got a halloween job. I saw him for the first time a few weeks ago after halloween and he plopped down next to me like nothing was out of the ordinary and started talking... and talking. He wouldn't shut up for 2 hours, and he isn't one who likes to talk much. I remember i had said something to the effect of how i couldn't taste anything after i drink patron, he slams his hand down on the bar saying THAT'S SEXY! I was sort of giving him the cold shoulder a bit and focusing more on other people because it was helping me get over him. The next time i see him he was making a A LOT of sexual innuendos and i was throwing them right back. One time i had a pool stick in my hand as i walked by him and he goes "do you always carry a stick with you?" i turn around to stare at his crotch and ask "why? feeling a little inadaquate?" The expression on his face was priceless. lol but anyway. Later on he made sure i heard him saying how pretty his coworker was and he was flirting with her. Last night i decided to let things go and talk like old times. Well he did more flirting with me last night then he ever has in the past. He was making grabing gestures toward my butt/boobs and pretending to fantasize about me naked. And he was being VERY touchy feely and hugging me a lot. HE HATES HUGS! WTF? Does he miss the attention i used to give him? Is it just because he knows he could have me if he wanted? Guys, why do you do this to girls?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Then stick to having him as a friend of sorts. If he is fun and good company I see nothing wrong in that, but I wouldn't take it further, not with him.
Wonder if that co-worker turned him down? Kinda seems that way to me.
Anyhow, listen to your gut.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 November 2011):
 sounds to me like he's not worth the effort of making a relationship with him or worrying about what he wants or why... he's not a serious contender and you should just see him for the silly fun and games he is.
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A
female
reader, ampmysilence +, writes (22 November 2011):
ampmysilence is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes, he is very hot and cold. I left out all the details of the summer, but one time he was asking my girl friend if the guys that were hanging on me were gay. Kinda like checking out the competition thing. Then he proceeded to talk about chinese astrology and told my friend what signs he was compatible with and just happened to be wondering what MY sign was. Turns out we're compatible... or so he said. And that coworker he was saying was "pretty" he's told me he thinks she is crazy. He told me he thinks i'm "unusual". I happened to be joking around with him one time then seriously asked if he was asexual to which he replied "yeah, basically." I don't know if i believe it. We are great friends... it's just now his flirting is getting in the way. A guy friend told me that maybe he got to thinking about it and thinks he made a mistake. Doesn't sound like it. Sounds like he wanted sex right from the get-go. That's unfortunate, because I'm definatly not that type of girl.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (22 November 2011):
 He is certainly being disrespectful and just focussing on sex.
You say he "know he could have me if he wanted me."
Does he now? Whatever gave him that idea?
Don't put up with it! Either cultivate a friendship first without rushing into sex, OR accept that he's only interested in getting into bed with you, and refuse to interact with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 November 2011):
I think he finds you tempting when YOU aren't showing interests, so it's about the chase for him.
Personally I would not try for a relationship with this guy, he just runs a little hot/cold to me. He sends out so ambiguously signals (and I think he knows it).
I would definitely thread carefully, maybe he is hitting on you because he struck out on the "cute" co worker? He needed to feel wanted/desireable.
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