A
female
age
51-59,
*atmarie
writes:Hi all,I have been in a relationship for around six weeks with a lovely guy. Alot has happened during that time- and I have met his parents and been on holiday with him.he came on very strong, and his mother told me that he is in love with me. Anyway to cut a long story short - we fell outa bit and bickered on our holiday, and when we got back he would not take my calls. He responsed only with angry text messages, and seemed very annoyed and upset. The thing is, he has some of my stuff which I need, and I have his, and each time I ask him for it he refuses to be drawn. I asked him for a copy of the holiday photos yesterday - he said he would send thme over yesterday and signed off with two kisses. I have not had them. I am so angry that if he does not want to know, why can;t he just arrange to meet me up,we can swap each others belongings and move on? What the hell is this guy playing at ? I know he is angry and upset, but it;s been nearly a week now, and I have apologised profusley. What more does he want? Am I to take it it is over? I have asked him three/ four times now to do this. I am sick of it. What am I to think? do in this situation?
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move on, on holiday, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 July 2010):
 Yup this is going exactly the way I thought it would. He's going to sweet talk you and keep you in the frame...then he's going to decide he doesn't want to be with you and go off with someone else in a few days/weeks or months.
In the meantime your going to do what countless people do...your going to play the victim and the doormat in the vain hope that he's suddenly going to change his mind and fall madly in love with you...yeah right!!!
You have already sacrificed yourself to his bad behaviour so maybe your happy with it...afterall, if you wern't happy...you'd tell him to F**k Off wouldn't you?
Sorry to get so hissy with you baby girl but Ive seen this a million times.
If you do pull it off and he comes back with undying love, seriously I will take my hat off to you.
Can't say I really blame you for trying, love hurts and all that, but just take care of yourself and your heart.
xxx
A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (13 July 2010):
natmarie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hello all, Thanks so much for your advice and answers. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to answeer me. I have an update... He is now texting me around four times a day, saying that he wants to give me the holiday photos, and that they are very beautiful, and asking me how I am and calling me babe, and dropping hints that he wants to see me. I eventually called him back this morning and he now sounds like he feels terribly guilty and regretful, and asked me if I wanted to see him.He sounds sad and a bit lost. he has now come to this as I ignored him for some time to give him a chance to reflect on his behaviour and to let him see how it feels. I agreed to possibly meet him this evening, and said I would message him,he asked me if i really wanted to see him,and if I'm sure and sounded very sheepish, but I am now in two minds. His tetxs are apologetic and come across as unsure as to how I feel. He seems worried that he may have lost me forever. I really need closure on this, but am unsure as to what to do. Should I meet him and tell him how his behaviour was terrible, and that he must never do it again? or should I force myself to walk away? I am finding it hard to get trhough the days without him, as I miss him terribly, and feel lost without him, and am finding it hard to get through my days without this being resolved. Please advise. Thank you. xx
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A
male
reader, thereyago  +, writes (12 July 2010):
I read this and I just want to say for the record, as a guy, that is some stupid shit right there.
You are lucky to get away from this guy... I hope he did get your hope up , you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
It really never ceases to amaze me how screwy some folks are. Good luck
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (9 July 2010):
natmarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk girls. Thanks for you help. I am going to really have to try hard to get over this. it; horrible the way he has done his. i would rather him not conact me at all than keep doing little things to keep it going. it;s pretty nasty. I feel sick, sad and gutted.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 July 2010):
Like I said darling, he's playing silly beggars. Keeping you in the frame, maybe until he meets someone he really wants to be with. Men do this all the time.
STOP driving yourself nuts. If he wanted to be with you, he'd tell you right now. Stop clinging on because your giving yourself false hope and that's going to get inside you and make you really really sad.
Maybe for him, the holiday was his 'finding out if I really like this girl and make her my girlfriend' test.
You argued and he has now decided your NOT the one and he wants to bail out. Keeping contact with you and being evasive is his very clever way to avoid any guilt,now he has made up his mind.
What are you going to do?...follow him round and keep up the contact in the hope he will want you back?...he might for a while, but in his brain...it's already over and he is on a new path. You can't make someone be the one when they don't want to.
Be strong, tell yourself this is futile. Like I said, get a mate to get your stuff back and forget him.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (9 July 2010):
 It's better that you don't respond, he's just playing games to try to elicit a response out of you. That's all he'll ever probably do at this point.
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (9 July 2010):
natmarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi All, Me again I.m afraid. he sent me a tetx last night... saying Hi, I'm sorry I could not send you the photos yesterday, There are to many to fit in the file, I wil send them over to you tommorow. :o) xxx
I opended my email this morning, and there are a couple of photos, but no note.
I am sick of this. I did not respond to text at all, and wil not be responding. I feel confused.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 July 2010):
*why would you want be WITH someone that acts like a child? Sorry for that typo!
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 July 2010):
He is playing silly beggars...why cant he just speak to you over the phone?...and why hasn't he given your stuff back?...He is playing games. Prob added to to confuse you so he can play for more time. He may also have someone else in the frams and may want to keep you in the net.
Be very wary. Dont accept his invitation to IM, just send a friend to get your stuff and forget him. Sometimes you have to take the upper hand and do the grown up thing.
Save yourself from the mind games and tell him to P*** Off!!
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (8 July 2010):
natmarie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all, Thanks for your answers. I have an update. he has now asked for me to be added to his Yahoo IM contacts.about 30 mins ago. why? I am very confused now, and not sure what he wants. ?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 July 2010):
Text him that you are
sending a friend round to get your things. Then I would forget him. He doesn't want a relationship with you, he's probably acting like a jerk and being evasive to spare himself the guilt of dumping you...hoping you will do the job, for him.
Don't waste your breath or emotions, get a friend to pick up your stuff and call it a day.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 July 2010):
Back off for a week or two to let him cool off. Then call and ask for your things to be returned in a calm, neutral manner. If you sound at all annoyed, he's going to be spiteful and ignore your requests. After that, end it. Why would you want to be someone that acts like a child? You were together for barely two months. His behaviour is a big red flag, there's no reason to put up with it more than you already have.
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