A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunts,I am 28 years old and I've been married to the ove of my life for almost 2 years with a 1 year old son. We've known each other for almost 11 years and he's mostly been a good person. But for the last six months we've been having problems. Little fights that turn into big ones and when we fight he started leaving the home we live in with my parents and staying out really late with his friends and coming home drunk. In February it got really bad and we separated for 4 days. After we got back together things were ok but this weekend it happened again. I was waiting for him, he told me he'd be back by 9, didn't call and at 12 when I called im we fought and I told him don't come home. He did come at 4am but I looked our door so he went back to his parents house and we stayed separated for 2 days. Now he's back and I just don't know what to say to him. i hate his friends. They're all single and have no concept of what marriage and kids are like. our son was really depressed without him so when he came back I was happy at least for our baby. But I don't know if I can trust him. I feel like a fool because all my friends think I shouldn't let him come back. But my son was so sad. The thing is 99% of the time we live good. He helps me do everything. But anytime he goes out and says he'll be back at a certain time it never happens. I've tried telling him we need counseling but he refuses. What should I do. I love this man, but I can't take the chance that he'll do this again to my heart..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): Hi
Sorry to say this to you...but you sound like his grandma...why not get a baby sitter and start joining him for the occasional night out...and make friends with his friends instead of hating them, one day they too will have a partner and you can make new friends girls. living with your parents not good for grown ups...he is just letting you know that he is not a child that has to be home when the clock strikes...and parents going to bed. He does not need any counselling....just take the weight of the clock off his shoulders and he may even want to come home early.
VIA con dios.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Just off the cuff I suspect there is another problem. I suspect he doesn't like living with your parents. This is normal for a man. One he is depressed because he feels like he is not providing you a home. and, two, every time you two get into a spat it is 3 on one with your parents on your side. He doesn't come home on time because he isn't happy there. Just a guess / something to think about.
FA
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A
male
reader, FroggieGman +, writes (8 April 2009):
Say good bye. You love him and I'm sorry to tell you he does NOT love you. He is immature and feels trapped. Call it quits and then he can party like a kid without his actions affecting you
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A
male
reader, uberman11 +, writes (8 April 2009):
you say you cant do this with him, at least most of the time your happy together. be sneeky about it go with him a couple of times but dont say anything about it make it like you like to do what hes doing and when he gets stupid take him home. If he refuses then he really needs to find priorities
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